chris rock – no sex in the champagne room lyrics
ladies and gentlemen of the g. e. d. cl-ss of 1999,
i have one piece of advice for you,
no matter what a stripper tells you,
there is no s-x in the champagne room! none!
oh, theres champagne in the champagne room
but, you don’t want champagne, you want s-x.
and theres no s-x, in the champagne room.
dont go to parties with metal detectors.
sure, it feels safe inside,
but what about all those n-gg-rs waiting outside with guns,
they know you aint got one!
if a woman tells you shes 20, and looks 16, shes 12.
if she tells you shes 26, and looks 26, shes d-mn near 40!
take off that silly -ss hat.
the odb couldnt have possibly committed all those crimes.
coolio did some of that sh-t
young black men:
if you go to a movie theater, and someone steps on your foot,
let it slide!
why spend the next 20 years in jail b-cuz
someone smudged your puma!
cornbread-aint nothin wrong with that!
no matter what you think of what i’m sayin,
remember this one thing:
there is no s-x in the champagne room!
(that guy starts singin)
no s-x in the champagne room,
no s-x in the champagne room!
no s-x in the champagne room,
no s-x in the champagne room!
absolutly, positively no s-x in the champagne room
if a homeless person has a funny sign,
he hasnt been homeless that long.
a real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.
if a girl has a pierced tongue,
she’ll probably suck your d-ck
(that’d be great, yeaaaah!)
if a guy has a pierced tongue,
he’ll probably suck your d-ck
(dont want that noooooo!)
heres a horoscope for everyone:
aquarius-you’re gonna die!
capricorn-you’re gonna die!
gemini-you’re gonna die twice!
leo-you’re gonna die!
scorpio-you’re gonna die f-ckin!
no one goes to hooters for wings.
if you’ve been dating a man for 4 months,
and you havent met any of his friends yet,
you are not his girlfriend!
some of the things i said may not apply to you.
some of the things i said may offend you
but no matter who you are,
you must remember this one thing:
no matter what a stripper says,
there is no s-x in the champagne room! none!
no s-x in the champagne room,
no s-x in the champagne room!
cant get none, nooooo!
cant have none, nooooo!
no s-x in the champagne room,
no s-x in the champagne room!
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