dane cook – superpowers lyrics
i wish i had some superpowers. i was thinking about that the other day.
maybe quit comedy, fight some crime. everybody wants to fly. that’s the
number one power. if i could grant you a power, “dane, i’d love to fly.”
yeah? who the f-ck doesn’t. who doesn’t want to leave the show tonight
and be like, “alright i’ll catch you guys later.” -shwwooosh- and zip up into
the skies. “i can show you the world. shining, shimmering splendor.”
i’d love to shoot a laser out of my c-ck. and when i’m empty my b-lls glow.
low fuel. b-lls are empty.
you know what i’d like to be able to do more than anything else? i’d love to
be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. -pppthhh.- ’cause no one
wants to be covered in spaghetti. no. if i’m on a date with a girl and she’s
very rude i’ll be like, you know what? -pppptthhh- enjoy your spaghetti
you’re very rude. enjoy your spaghetti, ’cause you’re rude. -pppttthh-
these are all dreams. these are all things we want to have.
(to man in audience) if i could grant you a power, any power, what would
you want? anything right now? “dah, jesus.” you want to be jesus? god
you’re such an egotistical pr-ck. he thinks he’s jesus. ah, jesus. i’d love to
cover him with spaghetti right now. -ppppttthh- enjoy your spaghetti,
you’re very egotistical.
ahhh, christ. -pause- (to man in audience) not you.
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