frank wildhorn and nan knighton – the scarlet pimpernel lyrics
[percy]
lud love me such conjecturing
could drive a man insane!
and i’m the one to set
this gossip quite to rest
the pimpernel is me!
[marguerite]
indeed, and i’m the queen of spain!
[a man]
the pimpernel is nothing
but a nosy pest!
[a woman]
no, the vicar says the pimpernel’s
a bishop in disguise
[marguerite]
who gives absolution
night and day!
[a man]
stuff and nonsense! don’t you know
he’s a maharajah from bombay?
[a woman]
they say he has enormous feet!
[a man]
and that he tends to overeat!
[a woman]
i’ve heard he’s fussy with his food
[woman x]
and eats his breakfast in the nude!
[women]
is he robust
or very pale?
at least we know he’s male!
who is the scarlet pimpernel?
[a maid]
me sister says his breath
is sweeter than an irish rose!
[maids]
i’m sure i’d fall in love
if he would cross my path!
[a man]
la, yes if you could overlook
the warts upon his nose
[another man]
and possibly persuade him
he should take a bath!
[a woman]
rumor has it he’s castilian!
[a woman]
he’s a reckless buccaneer!
[woman x]
and i hear he carries sev’ral … whips …
[percy, spoken]
several … whips?!
[a man]
he’s a sultan from kabul
[a woman]
with women at his fingertips!
[a woman]
they say he’s nearly eight feet tall!
[a woman]
and yet quite graceful –
[a man]
folderol!
[a man]
i’m told he waddles when he walks
[men]
and often twitches when he talks!
[a man]
is he a dolt?
[percy]
he’s very deep!
[all]
oh, england’s losing sleep!
[percy]
who is this blasted pimpernel?
[a man]
the butcher in the village
claims he saw the man last week
[percy, spoken]
where?
[a man]
galloping his camel ‘cross the moor!
[a woman]
he’s been seen
[a man]
wearing full blakeney green!
[percy]
i’ve told you all before!
the fella’s me!
[a man]
it’s george the third!
[a man]
perhaps a convict run amok?
[a man]
this pimpernel could be most any sod!
[percy, spoken]
how dare you?
[a woman]
bite your tongue
he is dashing and young!
[women]
the pimpernel’s a god!
and he’ll find me!
and he’ll wake me!
and he’ll take me
[woman x]
down on a haystack
[women]
he’ll face me
[men]
then at last you could tell
if he’s a hero or a monk
a fiddling nero or a drunk!
who is the scarlet pimpernel?
[percy, spoken]
it’s me, it’s me!
[a man]
i’m sure he’s flatulent and cr-ss!
[men]
hear, hear! the man’s a horse’s -ss!
[women]
no, no! he’s neighborly and kind
[woman x]
but quite erotically inclined …
[all]
whatever guise he may employ
he’s england’s pride and joy!
this plucky non-pareil!
[percy]
this lucky bl–dy swell!
[all]
who is the scarlet pimpernel?
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