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grand agent – you don’t love me lyrics

you know it? s funny i ain? t never had a child before
from what i hear though it? s something magical for sure.
some in the know have told me it? s like no other rush
to feel oneself willing to receive so much.
from what i hear though, you got about a dozen or so
and when they need you, we gotta let the government know
daddy? s not being supportive. so now the courts is
forever laced in recollections of your face.
you wasn? t checkin? for me. i was just a case,
summoned you from down south, mouth full of foul taste.
i heard about the drama, the shots ringing out.
i know about the white b-tch you was bringing to the house.
yeah, mommy put me on to all the wrongs done.
but in absentia, who could defend ya? i’m your son,
not your lawyer. you innocent in my book of life.
and i only came by to see what you look.
and it? s funny i could tell by the look of your lady
i was yours, cuz she was raw plus she played me
like you taught her to work for you. that? s my mo.
it had to come from somewhere. flow recognize flow.
i copped a heineken and then like my money she slid
over to the jukebox. i followed her when she did
and asked if she knew where to find you. now mind you,
i hadn? t a clue what i’ma say if she do.
and when she did, disappearing down a hall to fetch you,
i lent the pen to my mind? s eye to sketch.
six foot three or maybe six foot two.
no more guessin? would a n-gg- ever be put through.
and it? s funny cuz i wasn? t really willing to bother
? til it hit me that i wasn? t lookin? for me a father.
see, allah? s mine and that fact padded the impact
when your lady returned and said i had to come back?

chorus
you don’t love me
and i know now.
you don’t love me
cuz you don’t know how.

and it? s funny. it? s not that i feel fatherless.
i guess what you never had be real hard to miss.
my sister pop did what he could, when he could
and it? s not like i was the only orphan in the hood.
and d-mn sure wasn? t at them schools i was sent to
for safekeeping in the darkness while mommy went through
her own plight, takin? her demons to war.
i only had dreams of home like being on tour
where family? s a foreign ent-ty to the mind. though mommy wrote me mad letters.
i guess that? s why i write better.
it? s funny, it came together unseen
but, just between me and you, this rap sh-t is one dream.
i had some others too like giving wifey one or two
seeds. she need that but not if i’ma do how you do.
our love goes back and forth and forth and?
back from la? the last time i asked for her hand
and made it happen in less than a month.
that? s one less want. in less than like four, i was out the door.
i know that? s probably more than you need to hear
but sayin? all that to say you not being here bred fear.
i bled tears from the heart on my sleeve.
a n-gg- needed you around like you wouldn? t believe
-for boys to man sh-t. i know life? s coy and candid,
no way to really plan sh-t. that? s why i don’t demand sh-t.
i’m sayin? though? but on the other hand,
we flesh. you can? t imagine what i’m willing to understand.
i’m twenty-something, with stupid money comin?.
so i don’t need you for nothing. why you still frontin?
it? s beyond me.
but i’m sure you know where to find me.
so when you ready set your mind free.

chorus
you don’t love me
and i know now.
you don’t love me
cuz you don’t know how.
(repeat infinitely)

- grand agent lyrics

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