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hilltop hoods – the certificate lyrics

the certified have arrived, extraordinaire extravagant
beers like confidence, man i drink until i’m arrogant
cause i’m a c-cky f-ck, hit your girl and i knock her up
be like what the f-ck? in the net like a hockey puck. (score!)
rappers get embarr-ssed when they see the way that we work
they try hard, they’re shamed like fat guys swimming in t-shirts
research your oz hip-hop, before you step to us
and if you step, hands around your throat like a necklace

mr trials, young ladies gimme a call
my number’s written next to f-ckwit on the chicks bathroom wall
i’m slightly easy and a try for sleazy
with the wit of a red brick and chiselled body of kim beazley
my theory is, never touch the mic quite serious
a kid goes out on dates later than their next period
my crews got it made, rockin the place
with more dope rappers to match every pram chillin at collonades

it’s certified wise, no need to tell you again
because these c-nts can be so funky that the smell would offend
a dyk-‘s girlfriend dog, now lets get straight to the point shall we
this rowdy crowd of mc’s and dj’s know how to pound beats
like kids with flat feet and cr-p beats walking down backstreets
so much work went into this to line the notes of fact sheets
like black sheep i’ve got two words for those who slept
(nya, nya nya nyoooo respect)

you thought it was safe, well guess what (what?)
boys then beware; my friends will find your weak points (then what)
get up in there.
attack your mind, with a fine line when i find time
and i’ll find out that you’re walking if you’re talking the grape vine
i’ll waste time. need to take on the job at hand.
the skills for this professional typical certified wise man
from sky to land, i’m overcoming all your schemes and plans
so take cover as i rain thunder upon you man

i manifest hip-hop in it’s highest degree (certified wise)
somethin’ i take very seriously (i sensualise, certified wise)

every songs a collection of kids charmed lives
like the p-rn section of gary glitters hard drive
certified wise throws a jam thats so hot it’d
make a married man give up his annual bl-wj-b
you better show something, with heading no bluffin
on the wrong side of my tracks, i’ll smash your petticoat junction
in a suffering city, i’m punishing the pretty
and if you dont f-ckin feel me i’ll crush you without pity

i arrange certain words amongst silence
to be heard in abundance what mc’s face redundance
stereo speakers exceed beyond specifications
through extended noise generation
let’s cut the conversations to a small chat (why’s that?)
i’m busy tryin to react to the hi-hat
blockade and certified stand tall above ridiculous under-achievers
and constant non-believers

i’m on stage with a hanful of panadols handin them out
cos of the head throbbin from the head noddin
and we about puttin you out for the count like mic check,
you aint gonna get certified respect
so hide your decks, ya mics i might blackout
in a cipher when i still take the t-tle
the name’s sesta, i sn-tch an ‘l’ plate and slap it on your forehead
with more force than p-rn s-x

it’s the budhist monks, with the certified mc’s
i’ll make you nod your head like parkinson’s disease
sin sanity’s but don’t step to our click
i got a hundred metronomes just waiting to go sick
so take ya pick but not the axe or the shovel
after hours i make beds rock like barney rubble
it’s kinda subtle, the way that my flow bores
and leave your ears up sh-t creek without a funk oar

now certified wise gotta hold o ya
we got the whole lot o cop and magnolia
we’re the fresh b-boys in nike and adidas
we’re hotter than heaters and blowin up speakers
there’s no half-steppers, we far from a fake, we make
rap music every aussie can relate to
we’ll never take a tumble, we’re not gonna stumble
if you dis any member the result is let’s rumble

let me show you new rappers how to do a posse reckin
[scratches]
let me show you new rappers how to do a posse reckin
[scratches]
let me show you new rappers how to do a poss poss posse re reckin

complex compliments this simple to complete this individual
simplex the original beat the hypocritical, ridicule
the weaker techniques that leave you burnt
like cannabis sateva, either you do or you dont, we’ll prove that you wont
ever endeavour to get it together to better these fellas
i’ll be like whatever, you get it?
you’re wondering why you should never try
the reason certified is mr. nice with the wise guys

these crews stress, fully on a quest
to be recognised, put up on a level next to me
and the wise unified our lives, we bless the beat
we yet to see compet-tors who can compete with
elaborate schemes they conjoured up in their dreams
have to be outta your mind to even battle this team
masterminds of the game, n-body does it the same
when we leave the stage we’re sure that you remember the name

you f-ggot mc’s always compare one another
studio 2000’s where you shot your alb-m cover
i’ve the right patience, to your sh-t dictation
then commence domestic mc word castration
like excelles effects from a psychadelic w-nger
for you there’s no escape like sperm in a franger
simulated immitations fade away progressively
so go f-ck yourself homaphrodite mc

yo this is dj debris
representing
certified wise

i got [no idea], pages down, lyrical librarian
my strong line is carnivore your line was vegetarian
comparin them i’m tearin them in 2 so don’t you dare me then
comparin them with them i bring the heat like a solarium
you’re starin then you better step back while i’m preparin them
certified lyrical delegates are all the sound-ions,
rebellions under 1 banner for new milleniums
the south is certified its so good like sanitarium

h-rnbag, you know my style sucker,
and now we made tracks to get you up like a fluffer
certified wise, notorious to rip c-nts
dissin us will get costly like private shows at strip clubs
beating me’s a hard task by itself so f-ck you,
cause thats a fantasy like -n-l s-x with eliza dushku
this is my life and many come and go like one night stands
i treat live jams like a sermons and in my mic hand
a holy get them with ya bless ya
sh-t you never spit the fresher sh-t than pressure
any means, risk or measure
this cut is deep, so pump a beat for my f-ckin peeps
i’m rated x-rated the way that i come with tongue and cheek
we bring a ruckus like truckers in bar brawls
certified wise and we out like last calls

- hilltop hoods lyrics

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