image spitting – i’ve never met a nice south african lyrics
i’ve travelled this old world of ours from barnsley to peru,
i’ve had sunshine in the arctic and a swim in tinbuktu,
i’ve seen unicorns in burma and a yetti in nepal,
and i’ve danced with ten foot pygmies in a montezuma hall,
i’ve met the king of china and a working yorkshire miner –
but i’ve never met a nice south african!
no he’s never met a nice south african,
and that’s not bl–dy surprising man!
’cause we’re a bunch of arrogant b—tards,
who hate black people!
i once got served in woolies aften less than four week’s wait,
i had lunch with rowan atkinson when he paid and wasn’t late,
i know a public swimming bath where they don’t p-ss in the pool,
i know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school,
i’ve met a normal merman, and a fairly modest german –
but i’ve never met a nice south african!
no he’s never met a nice south african,
and that’s not bl–dy surprising man!
’cause we’re a bunch of talentless murderers,
who smell like baboons.
i’ve had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind,
that’s when an alien sp-ceship disappears up your behind,
i got directory enquiries after less than forty rings,
i’ve even heard a decent song by paul mccartney’s wings,
i’ve seen a flying pig, in a quite convincing wig,
but i’ve never met a nice south african!
no he’s never met a nice south african,
and that’s not bl–dy surprising man!
’cause we’re a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,
with no sense of humour.
i’ve met the loch ness monster and he looks like fred astaire,
at the bbc in london he’s the chief commissionaire,
i know a place in glasgow which is rife with daffodillies,
i met a man in katmandu who claimed to have two w-ll–s,
i’ve had a nice pot noodle, but i’ve never had a poodle –
and i’ve never met a nice south african.
no he’s never met a nice south african,
and that’s not bl–dy surprising man,
because we’ve never met one either!
except for breyten breytenbach, and he’s emigrated to paris. (farts)
yes he’s quite a nice south african,
and he’s hardly ever killed anyone,
and he’s not smelly at all.
that’s why we put him prison!
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