voice of host: lets meet contestant number one he’s a skitzophranic serial killer clown who says women love his s*xy smile lets see if his charm will work on sharon sharon, what’s your question?
sharon: contestant number 1, i belive first impressions last forever so let say u were to come over to my parents house and have dinner with me and my family how would you make that first impression really stick?
violent j:hmm well lets see i’d have to think about it i might show up in a tux ha! but i doubt it i’d probably just show up naked like i always do and look your mama in the eye and tell her f*ck you! hurry b*tch i’m hungry i smell spaghetti, i pinch her loopy *ss and tell her get the food ready your dad would probably start trippin, and get me p*ssed, i’d have to walk up and bust him in the f*ckin lips it’s dinnertime! were hearin grace from your mother i pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother i’m steady starin at your sister, i’ll tell ya this, ya know for only 13 she got some big t*ts! after that, your dad would try to jump again, but only this time i’d put the 40 to his chin after your mom does the dishes and the silverware, i’d dry f*ck her till i nut in my underwear
host: now lets meet contestant number 2 he’s a psychopathic deranged crackhead freak who works for the dark carnival he says women call him stretch nutz sharon, lets hear your question…
sharon: i like a man whos not afraid to show his true emotion a man who expresses himself in his own special way number 2, if u were to fall in love with me, how would you show me that you care?
sh*ggy:first thing, i could never love you, you sound like a witchy b*tch yo f*ck you! but if i did, i’d probably show you that i care by takin all these other m*th* f*ckas outta here i’d go through your phone book and whack em all, i’d find contestant number one i’d break his f*ckin jaw (what! ? ) anyone that looked at you would have to pay, i’d be blowin f*ckin nuggets off all day i’d grab your t*tties stretch em down past your waist, let em go and watch em both spring up in your face i’d sing love songs to ya the best i can. get ya naked and hit it like a cave man! we go to tha beach and walk though the sand i throw a little in your face and say i’m just playin as you spit it all out, i rub your back, and grab your underwear and wedge it up your *ss crack!
~~~laughter and applause~~~
host: well it sounds like contestant number 2 is just overflowing with sensitivity, sharon it’s a tough choice so far, sharon lets have your last question to find out whos gonna have the rights to your neden
sharon: ok, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up line be who eversthe smoothest wins!
violent j:ok first, i’d sliiide up the bar, and tell ya that i can’t believe how f*ckin fat you are i’d say i like the way you make your t*tties shake, and if you lost a little weight you’d look like ricki lake
sh*ggy:f*ck that! you’d be jackin me quick, i’d order you a drink, and stir it with my d*ck, and then to get your attention in a crowded place, i’d simply walk up and stick my nutz in your face
violent j:yeah freak her with your nutz, yo, thatll get her
sh*ggy:tell her that she’s fat, yeah thatll work even better
violent j:look, f*ck you, i got a strong rap sh*t you don’t want contestant number two he’s mad whack, i walked in a barn, and there he was, standin up on a bucket hooough tryin to f*ck it it was big f*ckin smelly *ss farm llama
sh*ggy:d*mn dawg! how ya gonna diss your mama?
~~~champagne popping and laughing~~~
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