kevin bloody wilson – you can’t call me kev anymore lyrics
got off the red high special from london,
i’d been over there four or five weeks,
playin’ gigs all over the place
from inverness to southend-on-sea,
and me mates at the gate were waitin’,
“g’day kev” they all shouted in chorus,
i said “hang on you blokes now look this is not a joke
but you’s can’t call me kev anymore”,
and they said “what? f-ckin’ what?!”
gotta call me mohammed arkmahr lickmah-ss
changed me name a bit since i seen you’s last,
but i ain’t changed i just changed me name,
to mohammed arkkmahr lickmah-ss..
at first they thought i was jokin’,
but they know i don’t tell ’em porky pies
i said, “you’ll be trippin’ on your tongue for a couple’a months
but you’ll get used to sayin’ it after a while,
then the cans in the hands started shakin’,
as they slipped from their grip and hit the floor,
i said i’m thinkin’ ’bout this i’m not takin’ the p-ss
you just can’t call me kev anymore,
and they said “what! f-ckin’ what?!”
gotta call me mohammed arkkmahr lickmah-ss
changed my name a bit since i seen you’s last,
but i ain’t changed i just changed me name,
to mohammed arkkmahr lickmah-ss.
you see i ran into this arab bloke in london,
he was drivin’ a cab at the time,
bit of a fender bender in the car park
and look, no one was hurt and we were both fine,
yep just a bit of a scratch and that was that,
and, really no one was to blame,
so instead’a gettin’ the coppers involved
we agreed to exchange names,
“what? f-ckin’ what?!”
swapped mine for mohammed arkmahr lickmah-ss
changed my name with him since i seen you’s last,
but i ain’t changed i just changed me name,
to mohammed arkmahr lickmah-ss.
so if you see an arab cabbie in london,
with a funny little thingy on his head,
and he’s playin’ camel music in his mini-cab,
that’d be him, that’ll be him, that’ll be kev,
so slip him a tip if you think of it,
when he drops you off where you gotta go,
then give him a decent slap on the back and say
“mohammed says h-llo”,
then he says “what? f-cking what?
my new friend, mohammed arkmahr lickmah-ss
he calls me kev, funny b-st-rd,
hope he’s liking his new name,
mohammed arkmahr lickmah-ss.
mohammed arkmahr lickmah-ss”.
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