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matt morrow – john hinckley jr. vs lee harvey oswald lyrics

[announcer]
epic rap battles of us history

john hinckley jr
vs
lee harvey oswald

begin!

[hinckley]
i’ve heard of you, you’re the big man tough talker
who can’t even make a decent shot on general edwin walker
but i’ve heard that you’ve considered suicide
so let me kill your rhymes like i was cyanide
let me get this straight, you claim you’re a patriot?
you defected, ran away, and tried to become a soviet
you’re a traitor, i’m not the one who’s crazy
and you don’t wanna mess with the guy who killed james brady
and guess what? i’m still alive in the usa
while jack ruby killed you after only one day
you’re a coward, you’ll only shoot from far above
while i shot reagan to show jodie foster my love

[oswald]
you should check up on mrs. foster
cuz i can only imagine what your crazed obsession cost her
locked up cuz of schizophrenia, ya oughtta sail away like enya
get outta my face and take all your manson praise with ya
you end a defendant while i am transcendent because only one of us finished their crime
your only “homicide” left your victim alive for thirty-three years of extra time
all that your acidity can do is ruin the validity of anyone using the insanity defense
and i’ll go down in history forever wondering ’bout the mystery of your blistering lack of common sense
(bang) you’re an unfortunate incident
(bang) i’m second infantry regiment
(bang) you couldn’t follow my precedent of actually killing the president
like another lee and harvey i’m-a make ya run man
but there’s no escape from the sights of the lone gun man

[czolgosz]
you set a precedent? check the timeline
mckinley’s life was mine 62 years ‘fore this rhyme
in the pan-american exposition down in buffalo
leon czolgosz is a bigger monster than ever was mark ruffalo
oswald, i can’t believe you were a sniper professionally
cuz it took two lousy shots to kill one kennedy!
and you’re crazy hinckley, you didn’t have a plan
now you’re locked up in prison growin’ into an old man
i’m ignoring ol’ bill, i won’t “go easy on (you) boys”
all your rhymes to me are simply background noise
you two are about as moral as a dish of steamin’ goulash
the only n-ble -ss-ssin is named leon cz-

[guiteau]
charles guiteau!
i am god’s chosen one
and i tried to save the world
from all that garfield would do
and the chaos that could have unfurled
to be an amb-ssador, i wanted the chance
yes, an amb-ssador to… to france!
but my fellow men would see me hang
so instead, i go out with a bang
(giggles)
i love america!
(giggles)
i am going to the lordy!
(giggles)

[booth]
shut up all of you, this battle is mine to take
for you all merely followed after booth’s wake!
i’m the pioneer, the original, the first to take a stand
and whether i’m on the stage or not ya oughtta gimme a hand
hinckley – couldn’t kill a man
oswald – a traitor, basically russian
czolgosz – a socialist recluse
guiteau – a madman hanged on the noose
oh, and sure, i’m all talk, you’re thinkin’
but guess what, you fools? i killed abe lincoln
you wanna be -ss-ssins? you’re barely even bandits
i got three words: sic semper tyrannis

[announcer]
who won?
who’s next?
epic rap battles of us history

- matt morrow lyrics

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