mellow melange – anorexia nervosa lyrics
i am hungry but not the way they say
i am thirsty in an unquenchable way
i am lonely among my familiar crowd
i’m happy and proud
i am lost high above on a cloud
i am save from them all
i can lose i can fall
i am on top
and they are down below
you want me to eat
but that’s not the thing i need
you want me to get fat
and you think that i am mad
you stuff me up
you make me sup
i am not ill
i want you to recognize my will
but you make me sick
i don’t need your slimy care
you never take me for what i really am
for my notions you never give a d-mn
all the time you know better what i need
you scale me like meat
every ounce of fat is my defeat
my despair is your success
but i’ll win this psychic chess
i am strong and i despise you
i set up the scene
i’m the starving super queen
you wanted a crack
and you got a bag of bones
i wreck myself
i hate myself
i have no skills
i’m only the puppet of your drills
but i see the sun
every ounce lost is a victory won
when i walk every step’s a painful drag
when i talk every thought is a leaden bag
and i wonder
what am i doing?
what am i winning?
what am i losing?
stop it now!
stop it now!
stop it now!
stop!
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