sweeney todd – the contest lyrics
pirelli:
i~~~~! am adolfo pirelli,
the king of da barbers, da barber of kings-!
eh, buongiorno, good day!
i blow you a kiss~!
–and i~~~!!! the so-famous pirelli, i wish-a to know-a
who has-a da nerve-a to say–!
–my elixir is “p-ss!?” who says this.
sweeney:
i do.
i’m mr. sweeney todd, of fleet street. i have opened a
bottle of pirelli’s elixir, and i say to you, that is
nothing but an arrant fraud — concocted from p-ss and
ink.
furthermore, signor – i have serviced no kings, yet
i’ll wager that i can shave a cheek with ten times more
dexterity, than any street mountebank.
pirelli:
you hear this foolish man. now please, you will see,
how he will-a regret-a his-a folly!
sweeney:
who’s for a free shave?
(crowd cheers)
sweeney:
…will beadle bamford be the judge?
beadle:
glad as always to oblige my friends and neighbours…
–the fastest, smoothest shave, is the winner!
(whistle blows)
now, signorini, signori, we mix-a da lather
but first you gather around —
signorini, signori, you looking a man
who have had-a da glory to shave-a da pope!
“mister sweeney-whoever”, i beg-a your pardon you’ll
probably say it was only a cardinal—nope!
it was-a da pope!
to shave-a da face, to cut-a da hair
require a grace, require da flair;
for if-a you slip, you nick da skin,
you clip-a da chin, you rip-a da lip, a bit
beyond-a repair!
to shave-a da face, or even a part
without da smart, require the heart~~
not just-a da flash; it take-a panache
it take-a da p-ssion for da art!
to shave-a da face, to trim-a da beard
to make-a da bristle, clean like a whistle
this is from early infancy, the talent give to me~ by
god…!
it take-a da skill! it take-a da brains!
it take-a da will, to take-a da pains–!
it take-a da pace, it take-a da
gra~~~~~~~~~~~~ce!!!!!
beadle:
the winner, is todd!
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