sweeney todd the demon barb – the contest (by johnny depp, sacha baron cohen & timothy spall) lyrics
pirelli:
i am adolfo pirelli,
da king of da barbers,
da barber of kings,
e buon giorno, good day,
i blow you a kiss!
and i, da so-famous pirelli,
i wish-a to know-a
who has-a da nerve-a to say
my elixir is p-ss!
who says this?!
todd:
…i do… i am mr. sweeney todd of fleet street. i have
opened a bottle of pirelli’s elixir, and i say to you
that it is nothing but an errant fr aud, concocted fr om
p-ss and ink. and furthermore—“signor”—i have
serviced no kings, yet i wager i can shave a cheek with
ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank!
pirelli:
you hear zis foolish man? now, please, you will see
how he will regret his folly!
todd:
who’s for a fr ee shave? will beadle bamford be
the judge?
beadle:
glad, as always, to oblige my fr iends and neighbors.
th e fastest, smoothest shave is the winner.
pirelli:
now, signorini, signori,
we mix-a da lather
but fi rst-a you gather
around, signorini, signori,
you looking a man
who have had-a da glory
to shave-a da pope!
mr. sweeney whoever—
i beg-a your pardon—’ll
probably say it was only a cardinal—
nope!
it was-a da pope!
to shave-a da face,
to cut-a da hair,
require da grace,
require da fl air,
for if-a you slip,
you nick-a da skin,
you clip-a da chin,
you rip-a da lip a bit
beyond-a repair!
to shave-a da face
or even a part
widout it-a smart
require da heart.
not just-a da fl ash,
it take-a panache,
it take-a da p-ssion
for da art.
to shave-a da face,
to trim-a da beard,
to make-a da bristle
clean like a whistle,
dis is from early infancy
da talent give to me
by god!
it take-a da skill,
it take-a da brains,
it take-a da will
to take-a da pains,
it take-a da pace,
it take-a da graaaaaace—
beadle:
th e winner is todd!
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