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the lonely island – i threw it on the ground lyrics

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i was walkin’ through the city streets
and a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink
“run faster, jump higher”
man, i’m not gonna let you poison me

i threw it on the ground
you must think i’m a joke
i ain’t gonna be part of your system
man! pump that garbage in another man’s veins

i go to my favorite hot dog stand
and the dude says, “you come here all the time! here’s one for free.”
i said, “man! what i look like? a charity case?”

i took it and threw it on the ground!
i don’t need your handouts!
i’m an adult!
please!
you can’t buy me a hot dog, man!

at the farmer’s market with my so-called girlfriend
she hands me her cell phone, says it’s my dad
man, this ain’t my dad!
this is a cell phone!

i threw it on the ground!
what, you think i’m stupid?
i’m not a part of your system
my dad’s not a phone!
duh!

some poser hands me cake at a birthday party
whatcha want me to do with this? eat it?

happy birthday to the ground!
i threw the rest of the cake, too!
welcome to the real word, jack-ss!

so many things to throw on the ground
like this, and this, and that, and even this
i’m an adult!

two hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph
ground!
n-body wants your autograph, phonies!

then the two phonies got up
turned out they had a taser
and they tased me in the b-tthole

fell to the ground
the phonies didn’t let up
tasin’ on my b-tthole over and over

i was screamin’ and squirmin’
my b-tthole was on fire
the moral of the story is

you can’t trust the system

man!

- the lonely island lyrics

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