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tom lehrer – whatever became of hubert lyrics

(introduction, spoken:)
i wonder how many people here tonight remember hubert humphrey,
he used to be a senator. from time to time you read something
about him pinning a medal on somebody or making a speech,
or every now and then you read something in one of those where
are they now columns: whatever became of deanna durbin and
hubert humphrey and so on.
this became quite an issue last winter at the time of
winston churchill’s funeral, when president johnson was
too ill to go and somebody suggested that he send hubert
and he said, “hubert who?” …and all america was singing:

whatever became of hubert?
has anyone heard a thing?
once he shone on his own,
now he sits home alone
and waits for the phone to ring.

once a fiery liberal spirit,
ah, but now when he speaks, he must clear it.
second fiddle’s a hard part, i know,
when they don’t even give you a bow.

“we must protest this treatment, hubert”,
says each newspaper reader.
as someone once remarked to schubert,
“take us to your lieder”…
(sorry about that.)

whatever became of you, hubert?
we miss you, so tell us, please:
are you sad? are you cross?
are you gathering moss
while you wait for the boss to sneeze?

does lyndon, recalling when he was vp,
say “i’ll do unto you like they did unto me”?
do you dream about staging a coup?
hubert what happened to you?

- tom lehrer lyrics

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