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12dr34m – chemicals lyrics

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[chorus]
they ask me, lian, why you waste your time?
i don’t know if i did i’d be fine
always sad all i ever do is cry
i stay tortured by the thoughts inside my mind
the chemicals inside they’re not alright

[verse 1]
at night i always contemplate my life
f-cking hate myself that’s why i grab the knife
need to numb all of my pain so i get high
i’ma take my life and float up to the sky
i know i’m selfish momma please don’t cry
yeah life’s a game i just don’t even really wanna play
every single day is always just the same
i hate this f-cking sh-t man i feel so stuck in place
i just have this feeling
dunno why i feel this pain
but its never healing
this life so f-cking crazy man it feels like i am dreaming
but it’s like a nightmare ’cause i’m fighting all my demons
yeah i’m fighting all my demons
still trying to survive i can’t defeat them

[bridge]
i’m always fighting to survive
man i hate this f-cking life
no, i don’t understand it
don’t understand it yah
you could never understand me x2

[verse 2]
you could never understand me
i got a brain that wants to stop my heartbeat
i never feel okay i hate my anxiety
i’m trapped inside my mind please can you set me free
i don’t understand why they always hate me
they talking sh-t but it never really fazed me
but it hurts me when you say that
lying to my face but i know that you don’t speak facts
yeah i know that you don’t speak facts
when you lie to me you make me f-cking feel bad
yeah you make me f-cking feel bad
i notice when you’re online but you don’t text back yeah
yeah you never f-cking text back
i don’t understand what’s the f-cking deal with that
you said you loved me but you tossed the little that we had
i f-cking hate this sh-t just put me in a body bag
now i feel f-cking tired
think i have the wrong brain
needs to be rewired
i don’t feel like me
i just wanna retire x2

[chorus]
they ask me, lian, why you waste your time?
i don’t know if i did i’d be fine
always sad all i ever do is cry
i stay tortured by the thoughts inside my mind
the chemicals inside are not alright x3