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1990 studio cast of strike up the band - finaletto act i lyrics

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[fletcher, spoken]
citizens! we just got more news
switzerland has sent another note even more insulting than the last one
she spells america with a small “a”

[ensemble, spoken]
+hiss+

[fletcher, spoken]
congress is in session at this very moment preparing to declare war
as soon as they do
they’re going to flash a red light from the top of the gazette building

[jim]
stop! what is this mischief you’re doing?
stop! reflect, consider and pause
can’t you see this trouble you’re brewing
won’t be in a worthy cause?

[fletcher]
be careful of a trick

[sloane]
he’s just a bolshevik

[ensemble]
we will fight for all we hold dear, sir!
[jim]
but i say this war is a fake

[fletcher]
why the h+ll must you interfere, sir?

[ensemble]
fletcher’s reputation is at stake

[jim]
fellow countrymen, lend me your ears for a minute

[men]
if you have anything important to say, better begin it

[jim]
folks, i was born
down on a farm
there ‘midst the corn
far from all harm
i learned about
cows and their ilk
so my friends, i know milk

[ensemble]
he knows milk
[jim]
some men are butchers
some men are bakers
some specialize as
candlestick makers
some, cloaks and suits
some men know silk
i, my friends, i know milk

[ensemble]
he knows milk
you may know milk, but tell us more
what the devil has that got to do with war?
what the devil has that got to do with war?

[jim]
i’d go to war
for cheese i could trust
but never for
a cause so unjust
for i’m afraid
oh, can’t you see?
this cheese is made
fletcher’s cheese is made
of milk—grade b
[ensemble]
not a?

[jim]
no, b

[ensemble]
not a?

[jim]
no, b
oh, my friends, i know milk!

[ensemble]
he still knows milk

[fletcher, sloane & holmes]
no, no! nay, nay!
we’re here to say
it is grade a
we always use the best ingredients

[jim]
here today
you hear me say
it’s not grade a
you’re using grade b for expedience

[men]
he says they do not use the best ingredients
but that they’re using grade b for expedience
and fletcher told us that when he began it, he
was only making cheese to help humanity

[women]
he says they do not use the best ingredients
but that they’re using grade b for expedience
and fletcher told us that when he began it, he
was only making cheese to help humanity

[ensemble]
maybe he is telling us the truth!
maybe he is telling us the truth!

[joan]
jim, how could you do such a thing?
oh, jim, unworthy of you, such a thing
just look at my father and see
he’d never use grade b

[jim & joan]
joan, i had to do such a thing (jim, how could you do such a thing?)
oh, joan (oh, jim)
the moment i knew such a thing (unworthy of you, such a thing)
my conscience and i both agree (just look at my father and see)
the milk is still grade b (he’d never use grade b)

[fletcher]
to me the whole thing simply is ridiculous
my honor has been struck an awful blow
the populace know i am too meticulous
i’d never stoop to do a thing so low

[holmes & sloane]
he’d never stoop to do a thing so low

[timothy]
he’d never stoop to do a thing so low

[fletcher]
and you’re a dirty so+and+so+and+so

[ensemble]
a very dirty so+and+so+and+so
and he is a typical self+made american

[jim]
he is a true, profiteering american

[fletcher]
i’ve made a pure product ever since i began

[jim]
he’ll get us all into war if he works his plan

[ensemble]
in most every way, we feel
he is basically sound
with his shoulder to the wheel
and his two feet on the ground
he is a typical, typical, typical self+made american

[joan]
alas, alackaday, unlucky me
my hero and my father can’t agree

[fletcher]
i think this fellow is a spy

[sloane]
well, if he is, he’ll have to die
for we must all protect our liberty

[ensemble]
yes, yes, we say
he’ll have to pay
he’s in the way
with propaganda he’s been fillin’ us
he’s a fake
and no mistake
his neck we’ll break
whoever heard of one so villainous?

he says that we use grade b for expedience
we’ll teach him soon the meaning of obedience
we’re all crusading for a cause that’s glorious
and who the h+ll is he to be censorious?

[a siren sounds.]

[sloane, spoken]
now then, where’s townsend?
bring him over here, men
things have changed now
we’re at war, and i’m placing him under arrest
let’s see what you’ve got on you
well, people, i guess this is all the proof we need
a swiss watch!
now we know where he stands
take him inside and lock him up until we’re ready for him

[joan]
jim, how could you do such a thing?
oh, jim, unworthy of you, such a thing

[jim]
my conscience and i both agree
the milk is still grade b

[jim is taken off.]

[timothy]
now every man get into uniform
and for those foreigners we’ll make it warm

[men]
those sons of guns will never scoff
we’ll show them all where they get off
we’re out to take the enemy by storm

[ensemble]
around the flag we’ll rally
come, patriots get pally
three cheers for the union!
siss for the swiss!
three cheers for the union!
siss for the swiss!

- 1990 studio cast of strike up the band lyrics

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