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1990 studio cast of strike up the band - the war that ended war lyrics

[women]
every girl is dressed
in her very best
all the world’s in tune
for we know that soon
the boyfriends are coming home

banners here and there
music in the air
everywhere the flag
patriotic jag
the boyfriends are coming home

[women, variously]
tommy, d+ck and frank
percival and hank
isidor and gus

[women]
what a thrill for us
the boyfriends are coming home

happiness arrives
in our lonely lives
soon we’ll know the charms
of their brawny arms
the boyfriends are coming home
civilization is improving
this war ends all war
higher and higher we are moving
this war ends all war
fighting is through, for fletcher has said it
fletcher deserves the credit
so give three cheers
and then give one cheer more
for the war that ended war

[marches by john philip sousa and arthur pryor along with traditional tunes play as soldiers arrive home.]

[soldiers]
civilization is improving
this war ends all war
higher and higher we are moving
this war ends all war

[ensemble]
fighting is through, for fletcher has said it
fletcher deserves the credit
so give three cheers
and then give one cheer more
for the war that ended war
for the war that ended war
[fletcher, spoken]
it is my privilege as owner of this war
to introduce our great hero, major james tecumseh townsend

[ensemble, spoken]
hooray!

[fletcher, spoken]
major townsend
your country has already heaped many honors upon you
the president himself has given you the order of the double cross
you have been presented with the keys to buffalo, cincinnati
and part of minneapolis
and now to our own gift
major townsend, in recognition of your heroism in winning
the horace j. fletcher memorial war
i hereby present you with this miniature statue of yours truly
carved in fletcher’s american cheese

[ensemble, spoken]
yay!

[jim, spoken]
thanks, thanks
if it’s my turn
maybe you’ll let me tell you why
sloane cut those b+ttons off of the american uniforms
[ensemble, spoken]
what?

[jim, spoken]
because he knew
that if the soldiers couldn’t b+tton their coats out in those mountains
they’d catch pneumonia
mr. fletcher, your man sloane is in fact colonel herman edelweiss
head of the switzerland secret service
and the most dangerous man in europe
he worked in your factory for years
because all that time he was adulterating american cheese
by using grade b milk

[fletcher, spoken]
good god!

[jim, spoken]
and here are the papers to prove it

[fletcher, spoken]
oh, don’t let that get out
if they know that we fought for grade b milk, i’m ruined

[jim, spoken]
it won’t get out
on two conditions

[fletcher, spoken]
just say what they are, you can have them

[jim, spoken]
first, you’ve got to form an international league
in which all cheeses will be equal
and no more wars!

[fletcher, spoken]
yes, yes, a league of cheeses
no more war

[holmes, spoken]
“no more war” would be a good name for a book

[ensemble, spoken]
no more books!

[jim, spoken]
and second

[holmes, spoken]
uh

[jim, spoken]
well, that you haven’t anything to do with

[joan, spoken]
jim

[jim & joan]
we’ll build a little home
just meant for two

[man, spoken]
wait! i’ve got a telegram for colonel holmes!

- 1990 studio cast of strike up the band lyrics

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