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2oodark - vent diary + lyrics

[part 1, valentines grinch]
might just be the grinch cause i’ll steal your heart
like gifts then break it
all my vibes i’m faking
bouncing off you because i’m vacant
wish i could’ve changed it
honestly wish i could’ve changed me
when i try i always start aching
hands feeling shaky
panic from the trust then i have to zip it up
to keep myself safe
to keep myself rot

i don’t know who i am anymore
i can’t text or call but i’ll try and i might just f+cking
get up
dust myself off
try so we can keep going

bring flowers with my soul to your doorstep
spill my guts on the floor let me be sad
my life is a chore and that is that
i only want you more which means that
if i can’t feel for me then i can’t feel for you
and it only hurts becausе i wanna love you
but i can’t and i don’t know why
god i wish i could f+cking cry f+ck
wish i could change the past
if i’m rеally kinda being brash
i’ve been backstabbed
by lovers and loved ones
who all lied alike all my life
f+ck i might
be the grinch cause i’ll steal your heart
like gifts then break it
no matter how pretty
how silly
how f+cking lovely you are to me
we won’t make it
[part 2, alone]
k!ll yourself
cut yourself
k!ll yourself
cut yourself
k!ll yourself
cut yourself
k!ll yourself
cut yourself
k!ll yourself
cut yourself
k!ll yourself
cut yourself

feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone i
feel so alone (está muy oscuro aquí)
what the h+ll is wrong with me
i feel so lost, so who is me?
i feel so empty in my mind
i want to take it out and die
feel so alone these nights
i feel like i never even lived to begin
who am i? i should end it
what do you want from me
i can never make you happy
i’m sorry but it’s all i can be
it’s who i am, not sorry
manipulate me, watch me fall into the creek
i know you hate me
so watch how hateful i can be

you are worth nothing
f+ck you
you are with nothing
f+ck you
you are worth nothing
f+ck you
you are worth nothing
f+ck you
you are worth nothing
f+ck you
you are worth nothing
f+ck you
you are worth nothing
f+ck you
you are worth nothing
f+ck you
[part 3, alone pt 3]
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
i am alone
i am alone
alone
alone
alone
alone alone
we live our lives alone and
we will all die alone and
we live our lives we’re all alone
alone, alone
we’re all alone
we’re all alone
we’re all alone
we’re all alone
we’re all alone
we’re all alone
alone, alone, alone
alone
alone
alone
alone we’re all alone
alone
alone

[part 4, alone pt 4]
i can’t
i can’t
i can’t
i can’t
i can’t feel this pain anymore
i now feel insane more and more
i take this blade to my skin
and i bleed
i bleed
i can’t feel the sways of love anymore
the ghost never comes to my brain anymore
i deserve to be alone
alone
there’s no reason to think anymore
give in take a drink then drink more and more
can’t help but feel i’ve been here before alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
(millions are dead because you lied)
(my friends are dead because you lied)
(you need to apologize, apologize)

[part 5, sleep deprivation]
yeah, yeah, yeah
i’m dead like death my n+gga
can’t feel my chest or rest my n+gga (f+ck)
i really wanna think less my n+gga
wishing life was more painless my n+gga (f+ck)
feel like my heart is cold
feel like i should be bones
i feel like my soul is old my n+gga
but this is the path i chose
can’t remember why i’m still pathing streets i roam

they say there’s no place like home
but any place feels more like home than home
i think i need a new place to go i think i need a new home
think i need to find new bros
maybe i should buy new clothes
maybe i should end it all
maybe i should throw my phone
f+ck

i can’t think right
and honestly i can’t sleep at night
no use in putting up a f+cking fight
no point to life if we f+cking die
they don’t care if you f+cking cry
they don’t care if i suicide
it don’t affect them so really
they couldn’t even care for my f+cking life

you only worth what you make
you only worth what they think
you only worth feeling hate
you only feel what they say
you only are what you think
they’re clouding your mind so you sink
deeper into the pits of the f+cking drink
till you become p+ssed and you hate
and the cycle repeats every f+cking day

“like i can feel myself regress into a different mindset…”
“like being more depressed…”
“and it’s not you that makes me depressed it’s
just i fully give into the feeling of hopelessness again…”
“i feel like after that convo we had till it was like 5am for me…”
“wasn’t the current me…”
“i don’t even know bro
i want you in my circle but i can’t keep you in it…”
“if i start changing back
into the mindset that keeps me from improving how i want”

[part 6, leave me alone, edited (cover of: all you need to know)]
just wanted to record a quick message
just to show that i don’t give a f+ck about any of these n+ggas
i don’t give a f+ck about none of you n+ggas
i don’t give a f+ck about any of you b+tches
i’m on my own
i said i’m on my own
i don’t give a f+ck
i don’t give a f+ck
yeah yeah

[instrumental]

now you know about me
so leave me the f+ck alone and never talk to me again
all y’all n+ggas b+tch ass n+ggas
keep me the f+ck away

[part 7, i left my soul in vegas]
my neck feel strain
my head is spinning
thinking too much b+tch
i’m overloading off the stains
like bl++dy paints
can’t pretend my canvas ain’t been the same
dinner plate
eating truth up with my doubts
on the side
sike i lied
i ain’t ate since i ain’t happy with my life

she’s f+cking up my seems (wait f+ck)
ancient thoughts that screams (why)
all my friends are fake (die)
i could die right now (i will)
they won’t make a sound (no)
pages wrote of how (no)
i’ve been feeling now (no)
i lay you to sleep with me inside your dreams

replaced and k!lled again
rebound then left again
get clean then cut again
be mean and die again
replaced and k!lled again
rebound then left again
get clean then cut again
be mean and die again

i can’t trust none of you f+ckers
ima die make sure you outed as busters
blood of my soul on your hands
skin moldy black i rot as i stand
i can’t trust none of you f+ckers
ima die make sure you outed as busters
blood of my soul on your hands
skin moldy black i rot as i stand

“i already feel like sh+t from these past two weeks.”
“with my relationship coming to and end
school being stressful
and people straining the last bit of sanity i have left…”
“i don’t know what to do anymore…”
“i don’t wanna die but i feel like it’s all i have left to choose…”
“my heart aches so bad my arms are going numb
and i’m starting to feel nothing again”

[part 8, im starting to give up]
so why do i try
i just f+cking hate my life
all the stars in the sky
make me feel like a lie
so why do i try
i can’t even go outside
she has her hands gripped tight
my soul fades from my eyes
from my eyes

why do i try anymore
i just wanna die some more
all the hope
that she gives me makes my eyes sore
i can’t sleep in the night watch the timing soar
i keep my wrist like a tally to add up the score
so why do i try
i just f+cking hate my life
all the stars in the sky make me feel like a lie
i can’t even go outside
she has her hands gripped tight

“i tried to k!ll my emotions
but was too consumed by them to do so…”
“and just said f+ck it
figured i’d probably get another chance…”
“and then thought about
how the same thing will probably happen again and loop over”

[part 9, yellow & black hearts 2: forgotten]
yellows back but
black seems lost
black cut back to days when he was gone
life is changing no one can stop
we’ll be forgotten like those of old
building of grass and house of mold
the winds grows strong and the waves are bold
don’t cry now there’s no point in being sad
trees that sway like words in the breeze
nothing matters not even the bees

“can’t make anyone happy i’m selfish and useless…”
“and also a terrible friend, girlfriend, daughter
sister everything i leave people at their worst…”

yellow cut back from the wrist to the elbow
black c+cked back and sent himself to h+ll oh
we’ll be forgotten like those of old
buildings of grass and house of mold

“cause whenever i do something
my dads first instinct is to take everything away from me”

[part 10, i hate myself.]
devils eye
devils eye
mmm+mmm
mmm+mmm

i’m married to the devil b+tch keep satan on my f+cking ring
got demons strapped up on my wrist they never have abandoned me
this life a loan and happiness is just inside your fantasy
let truth seep in and realize just how f+cked up life can really be

how f+cked up life can really be
all you do is you assume that you is who’s way better than me
destiny, empathy we all die eventually
why should i cry loss of life when we all die eventually

devils eye
devils eye
mmm+mmm
mmm+mmm

married to the devil b+tch keep satan on my f+cking ring
demons stay strapped to my wrist they’ll never ever abandon me
cause when there’s no one left and knowing
you can’t trust your family
you turn inward cause you yourself yeah you can never ever leave

but what happens when that’s not safe anymore
what happens when you’re not safe anymore
what happens when trying to stay becomes a chore
what happens when the demons preach to k!ll yourself more
and then the end will come and you will repeat the cycle once more
repeat it all once more

[part 11, i will do anything however heinous if it will come fill up the hole where my pain is]
manipulate
amputate
waste away
such a mistake

i feel emotions of missing attention
mistaken for remnants of missing affection
try all you’d like but results are resentment
used like some new shoes i’m better off not mentioned
i say i love you and i really mean it
but then i miss treat you i feel like a demon
i lie and say that i’m not gonna leave
and i hope you feel comfort inside my new pretense

a cannibal eating away all my feelings
i’ll make you just like me so you might get eaten
i will do anything however heinous
if it will come fill up the hole where my pain is
i’m selfish and useless and play like the victim
i’m horrid, unloyal my actions are sickness
(my actions are sickness)

i wish i could change the way that i was
i wish i knew for sure this was love
i wish i could stay with you for the rest of your life
but chances are we won’t be talking by the end of tonight

god i’m a f+ck up man why do i do this
i could end it all now this pipe in my right hand
i wanted to tell you that i’m truely sorry
i’m toxic and sh+tty i’ll blow my head off me
put an end to my life so you’ll forgive me
put the thought in a song so i keep kicking
i need some help i need me some therapy
i don’t feel safe to be honest, i’m scared of me
to be honest, i’m scared of me
to be honest, i’m scared of me
to be honest, i’m scared of me
i don’t feel safe to be honest, i’m scared of me
to be honest, i’m scared of me
to be honest, i’m scared of me
to be honest, i’m scared of me
to be honest, i’m scared of me

[part 12, loona.mp3]
“i can smile when i’m around people
but alone i just feel empty you know?”
“i don’t really feel anything like all my emotions is gone”
“and i have nothing to feel
like if i can feel anything i feel numb”
“i don’t know what to do to help it either”
“i don’t wanna talk to family or friends
because i don’t want them to worry”
“but if i don’t talk to anyone
how am i gonna get rid of the feeling?”
“i don’t know if getting a girlfriend will help me”
“i just hate on others people happiness
because me myself, am not happy”

i push my head way past the line
i can’t control what is mine
my life has crumbled and it died
so why am i what’s left alive

if i should fail like i’ve always done
then what’s the point i’m the useless one
you sit with me and you hear my plead
you’re the only one concerned if i bleed

so i’ll break me down and you’ll come with me
on a trip through my old memories
and through the fall we’ll have it all
you’ll take a dive into my seems
together we part my mental sea
and when you see that enemy
that pours daunting thoughts back into me
i’m sure you’ll leave
and you’ll always tell me

that i never really meant anything at all
and everything’s always been my fault
and i’ll lock me down
so no one can see that i’ve become everyone’s enemy

[part 13, self destruct]
all you need to stop it
b+tch dropping
when i c+ck
pop my head
no options
gone b+tch i’m gone b+tch
stop it can’t stop it
i’m settled b+tch
grip my kettle b+tch burry me with all my metals b+tch
please stop it you can drop it
you don’t really care
you don’t think it’s fair
options? what options
stomping thoughts stomping
death knocking
he wants in not gonna stop him
i’m gone in

lavender town fit in with the crowd
wear a crown topped with big regrets
better yet bring some cigarettes
we’ll keep further rotting over
till it start again
fourth leaf clover i’m a hoper that one day i’ll resurrect

bum, bum, bum, bum blow my brains out
pink like gum gum
take my pain out
fade away into the night
i follow the light
alister acts as my guide
he’s my favorite guy

die, i have really died
nothing left inside
my demise
cause of suicide
i can’t enjoy life
no goodbyes
i hope i weigh you down
i hope you break inside
know that i
hope you cry
from the afterlife

more need i say no more
life is just a chore
bored
out my mind blood leaking from my thighs
signs of future actions ignored by the like
eighty percent i join with gleam in eyes
note on the floor just so you can know why
rest inside the ground i won’t go to sky
lavender town is for children like i
lavender town is for children like i

after all the ghost trainer is here to transport ghost type pokémon
ghost type pokémon? no one else?
only someone like me

[part 14, ecstasy]
out of the dark he found a road
to quietly walk alone
out of the days he learned to know the call comes after the
out of the dark he found a road
to quietly walk alone
out of the days he learned to know the call comes after the
out of the dark he found a road
to quietly walk alone
out of the days he learned to know the call comes after the storm
sit back and watch the rain
breath out before tomorrow
slow down before you break and you’re cast aside

open my eyes man why am i here
everyday i’m living in fear
my eyes solid grey my souls fades away no love for my peers
(why)
no love for myself
main pain to my health
i’m failing my grades with no growth in my wealth
i’ve rotten away
brain trapped in decay
might sink in the bay
make my pain disappear

why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why (why, why)
why, (why, why)

out of the dark you found a road
to quietly walk alone
out of the days you learned to know
the calm comes after the storm
out of the dark you found a road
to quietly walk alone
out of the days you learned to know
the calm comes after the storm

like literally her birthday, it’s so weird
and like i’ve just been like messaging everyone
i don’t know why molly gets me like i don’t know
like your feelings come out
you tend to like you catch up
it’s like special feelings when you’re on molly
i guess yeah i guess i don’t know anyways

[part 15, i h8 (f) u/ i hate you]
excuses, excuses i got to know
the truth and the loose ends you won’t unfold
the memories what you said inside my skull
would you even care if my pulse had gone cold
the longest page inside my death note
dedicated to a f+cking dead hoe
you’re living and breathing and loving your life
and i’m sitting here cutting with tears in my eyes

i don’t want you back inside of my life
i don’t want you to know who i decide to be
i don’t want you to know anything about me
cause i f+cking hate you
cause i f+cking hate you
cause i f+cking hate you

- 2oodark lyrics

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