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3-15 – these voices lyrics

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these thoughts
3-15

javier: the pain’s permanent; it’s like i got in ink
it’s like i’m stuck in the bottom brink
i got voices in my head telling’ me a lotta things
they interrupt my contemplations and when i gotta think
their advice are nothing but paradoxes
most of the time they’re just nonsense
i try understanding what they say, but they’re all complex
they lie to me with the ideas and the contents
these lyrics are for my solo album; man, i know i gotta drop this
that’s the reason i keep my lyrics locked in lots of boxes
but exactly what the f-ck am i hoping to accomplish?
i don’t know but these voices will be an accomplice
i hear ’em right now; just listen closely
i often wonder why they chose me

dark thoughts: again with this sh-t? i thought we’ve gone through this

reasonable thoughts: again, javier; i apologize for his rudeness
what’s wrong now, another fight with her?
i can see you start to shiver
you just gotta stop the quiver

dark thoughts: why the f-ck do you try to please her?
you asked her to stop lyin’ and stop cheatin’; she did neither

reasonable thoughts: javier, you’re just sick; you got a fever
if you’re not happy, you can just leave her
take control of your life for once; be your own leader
it’s okay to take a breather

javier: i can’t; don’t you understand i love her?!

evil thoughts: if she loved you back, she never would’ve felt the need for a lover
cover all your emotions; show no emotion
the least you could do for her leaving you heart torn and broken

reasonable thoughts: give her time; she’ll come to her senses
she’s just like this ’cause she feels defenseless
only time can mend this

dark thoughts: why are you depressed?

javier: because the pain is endless
sometimes i wish i could just beat myself senseless
just so i can stop feeling pain and stop feeling hurt
it’s like i got me a curse

reasonable thoughts: it’s okay, really; you just gotta wait
this is just the way god intended for life to operate

dark thoughts: stop being a p-ssy; i hate that f-ggot sh-t
if you really believed life’s not easy, well now you can have it, b-tch

reasonable thoughts: what he means is: don’t be pessimistic
you know you can’t go any less than this sh-t
so your road to a better future, let’s finish it

javier: but it still feels like i’m only blessed in p-ss; sh-t

dark thoughts: so now you’re taking your entire family for granted?

javier: that’s not what i’m sayin’; i’m sayin’ it’s hard with the cards that i’ve been handed

reasonable thoughts: what do you mean?

javier: i mean, i could never talk about my feelings ’cause i was always at the sitter’s
it was like i was emotionally abandoned
y’all driven’ me crazy; just shut the f-ck up -you’re not helping!
my f-ckin’ mind’s goin’ wild and i can feel my soul melting
i have no higher power to compel me
why do i listen to y’all; it’s always lies that you will tell me
i need to calm down; i feel like my heart failing
i feel the pain impaling

dark thoughts: that’s what you get for letting your heart open
that’s why you ended up out here on the street wet and soakin’

javier: how the f-ck did i even get here?

reasonable thoughts: i lured you out from your room; you gotta get your mind cleared
this is exactly what i’ve feared

dark thoughts: you’re so pathetic, javier; you ain’t got it that bad

reasonable thoughts: that’s right; you’re doin’ well for not ever havin’ your own dad

javier: that doesn’t help that i’m hardly with troy though; y’all forgot that fact!

reasonable thoughts: understand your limited resources and circ-mstances
if you keep p-ssin’ your faith away, it’ll surely hurt your chances
you just have to wait until your life advances
you’ve gotta make p-sses

dark thoughts: it’ll be a long way before that; you might fail
there’s life, heaven and h-ll; the alternative is jail
how far will you make it in life; there’s no way to tell
’cause all your -ss ever does is hide in your sh-ll

javier: i’m tired of being tired and i’m done of being dumb
my body feels cold and, god, my heart feels numb
i don’t wanna end up a bum and i don’t wanna succ-mb to sc-m
sure as h-ll don’t wanna hold up a gun
that wouldn’t be fair to my handsome son
the life without a father emotionally hurts a ton
so i’m smart enough to stay with him and not run
at times i scream so loud i could puke out a lung
god, i feel shunned

reasonable thoughts: you’ve got time to reconcile

dark thoughts: she could watch you on your knees as you beg, and smile

javier: i buy expensive clothes just so i can believe i am someone
other than sports b-lls; i ain’t got none
a stable peaceful home; i ain’t found one
excuse me if i sound dumb
but h-lla stacks to raise my kid, i wanna count some
be cautious ’round this world that i’m from
my reflection disgusts me
from my point of view, there’s no one worth trusting

reasonable thoughts: you got your family, avi, and hayden

dark thoughts: nah, they mock you and probly resent you; stop playin’

javier: no, they’re my real friends. everyone else is just an acquaintance
i got no patience, and i’m racin’
to the point where there’s no destination

dark thoughts: your destination’s a dark place; just sayin’

reasonable thoughts: but if you switch your life right now, you will not hit the pavement

dark thoughts: he’s too deep already; he’s already socially dead

reasonable thoughts: forget that; javier, you were born to be big
don’t listen to the haters; the wrongful claims
soon enough you will be king and you will have all to reign
even if you don’t become the best rapper, at least some will get lucky enough to hear your voice

dark thoughts: f-ck that; time to grow up, put away your recording toys
you wanna starve your girl and kid while you dream away at life; that’s your own choice

javier: one second y’all agreeing; the next, y’all are contradicting
if i had just one voice guiding me, i’d stop the b-tching
that would be satisfactory
yeah, and i’m mad but it’s bad for me
yeah and my heart had it’s shattering
where the f-ck am i now?
downtown portland?

reasonable thoughts: i wanna show you what truly is important
out in the real world, no one cares about you
except at home; that’s where they care about you
those people who ask about your well being and where you’re out to
you won’t find that out there
i just hope that you can hear this advice loud; clear

javier: i’ve cried so many tears; guinness should know who the f-ck i am
when i was seven, i was outta luck by then
my father; god forbid i look like him
f-ck him and all those who mock me;
all those people doubtin’ my will and who wanna stop me;
all those who copy
and any one who who wants my soul to be rotting

reasonable thoughts:
no one wants you to hurt
no one wants you to mourn

dark thoughts: javier, you’ve got a lot to learn
no one gives a f-ck
why should they? you’re a n0body
no one to miss, or hear him when he spits
that’s why you get no plays, no buzz, and no fans
with those kind of songs, how you think you stand a chance?

reasonable thoughts:
don’t listen to him; he’s never one to encourage

javier: but he’s right; he’s always one to make the truth surface
no one listens to the songs; the emotion i put into ’em
why the f-ck i waste my time with the melodies i sing to ’em?

reasonable thoughts:
because you do it for yourself; you don’t do it for these people
because it’s your way to vent; your way to prevent
the event in which you’d take your own life

javier: ha!
i bet that’s somethin’ the f-ckin’ whole world will like!