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360 – i’m sorry lyrics

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[verse]
i should be dead, maybe i got nine lives?
seven left cause i’ve already died twice
i’m glad it wasn’t bye-bye
because it’s my time to do it without the high-life
what i’m making is really dope
but i needa talk about some sh-t that happened a year ago
hold up, let me clear my throat
yo i’m about to get deep but i really hope you feel it though
see talking ’bout it hurts
since when i was an addict but i was at my worst
no-one knew, i didn’t tell one person
couldn’t bring myself to do it cause i felt like a burden
give me any drug, i was chewing ’em up
if i have nine lives then i’m using ’em up
no-one knew my addiction, it was stupid as f-ck
ninety pills daily of nurofen plus
i know that’s extreme and i should be dead right
but i was so f-cked up my tolerance was that high
that’s the thing with the codeine addiction
it’s over the counter so you don’t need prescriptions
that’s three packets in a day
i didn’t get high but i would have ’em anyway
cause if i didn’t take ’em then i’d be hitting withdraws
and guess what? all of this was mid-tour
and i can’t play in this form
having sh-t thoughts like i got nothing to live for
i was a zombie, i couldn’t feel nothin’
i smashed four packets cause i just wanted to feel something
yo, i overdosed for sure
i was at the venue, i was going to perform
i can’t remember, see i was told in the report
my tour manager found me convulsing on the floor
everyone surrounding, no one knowing what it’s for
literally no one knew that i was going through it all
i f-cked up, i should be knowing this before
i’m a f-cking junkie, how am i going on a tour?
i let down my fans and i owe it to them all
that’s why i’m being honest and so open with it all
it’s so hard no one knowing what is wrong
i can’t talk about it so i wrote it in this song
woke up in hospital going through withdrawals
someone guarding my bed but n0body would talk
no phone there, n0body to call
saying “what the f-ck is going on?” and no one would inform me
and i’m not knowing whats it’s for
tubes everywhere, if only i could walk
a man approaches “am i alright doc?”
then he tells me i’m on suicide watch
i’m a danger to myself, i wouldn’t be leaving
i didn’t try k!ll myself but they wouldn’t believe me
i spent a month in a hospital bed
living in a nightmare and i just wanted to end
i’m thinking to myself have i got any friends?
or friends who don’t use, have i got any left?
there’s many times where i’d want to be dead
but we’ve lost too many and i don’t want to be next
now i’m happy that i got me some rest
i know for sure now that i don’t want it again
the harder i hit the gym then the stronger i get
the more the devil on my shoulder hasn’t got any strength
i let my fans and my family down
the people standing by me are like family now
yo i’m sorry to anyone who’s a fan of me
i understand if you wanted to abandon me
but if it wasn’t for my family
i would’ve tied the knot on the rope the devil handed me
i gotta show ma’ father and my mum love
and let ’em know that it’s not them that f-cked up
now you got a quality son
if i say i’m gonna do it then the job’ll get done
i embrace any pain, now i’m not gonna run
the gym’s a new addiction but a positive one
the battle with addiction’s a battle on its own
the worst part is that i tried battle it alone
so if your hearing this and your battling at home
tell somebody because your family should know
i’m loving life now, i’m getting it back
if i can do this sh-t f-cking anyone can
i can’t remember cause i blacked out
but i wouldn’t change a thing cause it made me who i am now

[outro:]
bless up
i’m back
this time i’m not gonna f-ck off, i’m not gonna f-ck up
i’m a different person
i’m not just saying that
i’m f-cking loving life at the moment and i’m
very grateful cause i should be f-cking dead
and that’s the truth
thanks to anyone who’s supported me lately
it’s been insane, all the emails
all the dms on instagram, everything
much love