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a stray catalyst - i love my whole grain oats lyrics

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i started eating cheerios
to help my high cholesterol
well, at least that’s what i say when people ask
but my real motivation
was my bad constipation
p++ping had become a daunting task

now i’m one happy wiper
’cause my cr+p is riper
when i eat my fiber cereal
when i get the right nutrition
i make regular emissions
that’s why i love my whole grain oats

when i put food in my mouth
it took so long to travel south
seems like it was never in a rush
my loads were small but now they’re not
i’m proud to say i got a lot
i make so much i have to double+flush

now i’m onе happy wiper
’cause my cr+p is riper
whеn i eat my fiber cereal
when i get the right nutrition
i make regular emissions
that’s why i love my whole grain oats
i used to spend all of my dough
on fancy toilet paper rolls
something i no longer have to do
you can say i’m goin’ green
a single wipe will get me clean
on top of that i never clog the loo

now i’m one happy wiper
’cause my cr+p is riper
when i eat my fiber cereal
when i get the right nutrition
i make regular emissions
that’s why i love my whole grain oats
that’s why i love my whole grain oats
that’s why i love my whole grain oats

- a stray catalyst lyrics

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