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ab (ind) - watching myself die lyrics

[verse 1]
so while my peers are veered to tear each other down
i’m sitting still inside my room, i hear em scary shudder sounds
and it’s not steps of a barbarian, or no faerie or no hairy animal
it’s just my own thoughts chewing mind like cannibals
a sudden sorrow seeps in like the spirit of annabele
reaches right through your ribs ripping your core like a cantaloupe
just collateral so you can teach the rest from your frown
so what’s the best that i can do? it’s breaking all of me down

[verse 2]
you always ask the almighty why you’re alone
but even when someone is reaching, you’rе scared to pick up the phone
stеady locked inside your room, steady locked inside your zone
but contradicting cause you’re wasting all the talents that you hone
all the potential is wasted it’s made a gift to the devil
what happened to existing on some unpredictable levels?
why you trip and having ’em visions of you gripping the metal?
why you’re trying to make your family have to pick up the shovel?
cause it’s your own thoughts, you’re the cause of your every pain
it’s your own plot, you’re the one that’s making the play
it’s your own pot, and you wanna cook your demise
you’re the onslaught, always pushing people away
cause you think that you’re better off
but you don’t know any better
and i know that you’re bitter
just cause you don’t get any letters
and you don’t have a forever
so you just ride the pain
rather hide than talking
cause you think to keep it in is way better
if that’s the case then maybe i’m the one who’s lost
you’re keeping everyone happy, but i’m the one you crossed
you’re preaching hope to others, but your own, see, you done tossed
with all this peace you brag about now tell me really what it cost
you’re telling jade to stay alive but on your mind you got a blade
scr+pe, apple to the nape, taped signs around your gate
fate’s harder to escape, hate’s part of the estate
age hardly+ wait
now our momma crying at your wake!
[verse 3]
this is exactly what i wanted
my conscience yelling constantly as my head is imploding
as i lay myself in this lake of pity and loathing
i don’t see no point in hoping
see everybody’s just coping
see everybody’s just hoping for the best end of the stick
only 20% will get me and rest of ’em just thick
cause see reality is sh+t’s often easy to predict
simply jump off of the roof and all the switches get flipped
now everybody will love you
even the haters pretending
even the strangers and neighbours that used to judge you attending
now everybody got a shoulder and a ear to hold
they see your momma crying, now they got some tears to roll
here’s the whole picture, see n0body standing with you
everybody is a switcher, if you want ‘em you can catch ‘em
with their hand inside the pitcher, got their eye upon your riches
cause see one in like a dozen of your friends is always b+tch
the ratio was in a scripture
yeah but what do i know?
bots tell us we should be deleted, where do i go?
dummies always justifying hating folks, bravo
i look at bigots acting like they sly and i am drago
i shower in bravado cause acting tough is the motto
just trying to model myself on idols
and all those artists who siphon words out of cyclones
inside of insane asylums
and still i sit in my silence
no citizens on this island
don’t know what i’m trying to prove with these lines
that i’m one illest ever? guess the proof’s in the pie
will i ever get to stare and gaze at her luminous eyes?
guess my state of mind is part of all of my views in disguise
the braggadocio is just me digging farther to hide
you see me smiling for a while and it is part of the lie
i’m only riding till my mother and my father alive
simple writing+ i’m only waiting and watching myself die

- ab ind lyrics

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