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abdo king - suicide note lyrics

[verse]
this is my suicide note, i woke up dead with a f+cken overdose
nah, sh+t is real, i can’t feel anything anymore, everything is closed, no open f+cken door, they say i got everything a man dream of
not what i’m dreaming of, not money, not even love
i just woke up from a long nap, opened my eyes realized i was doing the same lap, over myself
level 1, 2, 3, playing the same game, just got sick of every f+cking human being
wanna leave this f+cken planet never come back
go to mars in some f+cken sp+ce craft, but i can’t get that
got this really big desire to k!ll myself, end my life cuz nothing is going to be well, all this f+cken planets just f+cken fell, down the road of f+cken h+ll, there is no hope for a single soul
throwing that sh+t across the f+cken wall, haters wanting me to fall, i know
took a bottle of jack, loaded my belly then loaded my gun
high and drunk, i realized what i should have done, what went wrong
i wasn’t fighting these f+ggots, i was fighting myself all along
a little voice inside of my head telling me “all this sh+t you passed through wasn’t rough? all the sh+t you had wasn’t enough? actually, it was. you don’t need no more. end it now. close that door.”
so i took a gun, close to my head, looked up asking forgiveness, before i dropped dead
yeah i know it’s kind of sad, but i did it
closed my eyes pulled the trigger like boom boom
i woke up, i thought i was dreaming, here is my sister looking at me screaming
“why abdo? why you left me? you said we are for life! you f+cken promised me!”
my mom behind her speechless, the woman who always thought that i was a f+cken g+nius
i looked up again there was no forgiveness, my family hopeless
motherf+cker k!lling each other for whatever is left
friends none, cuz they never cared how the f+ck i felt
now everyone trying to screw everything i’ve built
walls closing in again, screaming, “no one gave you a f+cken hand!”
then i heard the voice telling me to “make the right choice!”
“make it right or pay the f+cken price!”
than everything got dark and now i realize what i should’ve done
opened my eyes, see the light, gotta be wise
haters waiting for me to fail
d+ck suckers gotta keep it real, keep the f+cken hope, go ask help from the f+cken pope
i don’t care, i don’t give a f+ck, all you motherf+ckers suck
and i’m stuck, inside your f+cken heads
that’s why i’m never gonna be dead, that’s why i’m going to be legendary
that’s why i’m gonna stay here forever, as long as there’s a here, i’m gonna be here

- abdo king lyrics

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