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abe partridge - alabama astronauts lyrics

[intro]
ladies and gentlemen
i have a grave announcement to make (hey, bubba, come and listen to this)
incredible as it may seem
both the observations of science and the evidence of our eyes
lead to the inescapable assumption
that those strange beings who landed in the jersey farmlands tonight (jersey?)
are the vanguard of an invading army from the planet mars
man, i wish they’d gеt down here
the battlе which took place tonight
has ended in one of the most startling defeats
ever suffered by any army in modern times
seven thousand men armed with rifles (man, i’ve been waiting for this to happen) and machine guns
pitted against a single fighting machine of the invaders from mars
one hundred and twenty known survivors
the rest strewn over the battle area from grovers mill to plainsboro
crushed and trampled to death under the metal feet of the monster
or burned to cinders by its heat ray (man, i wish they’d come to alabama)

[verse 1]
well, all was quiet in the back 40 trailer park that night
i mean, there’s a few domestic fights and the usual petty crimes
but i was feeling alright, mixing whiskey with my sprite
and toasting all those ghosts of the lost southern pines
and i heard a lurking in the night and i knew something wasn’t right
and i was covered in the white of an otherworldly light
and i looked up and beheld a sp+cecraft from another world
at least that’s i observed, ’cause i ain’t learned
but i can certainly confirm there ain’t nothing on this planet ever turned
at the angles and the rate of speed at which it surged
and then i heard my neighbor wanda cursing in slurs
as the ufo swirled and upon her trailer it converged
and she was carried away in this tractor beam, a horrible scene
her hair still in rollers, her nightie busting at the seams
and her scream, man, it got all the more extreme
as she flew through the air to this e.t. machine
and i knew this wasn’t just a dream
aw, it ain’t no dream
’cause i mean, yeah, i know i been drinking and probably even smoked a little green
but i can’t stand lsd, and this would be a hallucination supreme
even obscene
so i jumped into action like vietnam era marine
’cause this is gonna be war, you know i’d seen one before
and i had a stash of ammunition underneath my trailer floor
and i’d heard freaky stories galore from bubba next door
and it sure ain’t my ass them aliens gonna probe and explore
so i got a twelve gauge pump and my ar
and my granddaddy’s government issued ka+bar
man, y’all should’ve never came here now
’cause this is gonna be war, ’cause i’ve been, i’ve been
[chorus]
i’ve been, i’ve been waitin’ on them aliens to come
yes, i’ve been, i’ve been waitin’ on them aliens to come
i’ve been, i’ve been waitin’ on them aliens to come

[verse 2]
so i threw some cover fire and jumped and crawled back to my truck
i knew if i was gonna beat these aliens, i’d need distance and luck
and then i sped through the muck until i ended up
over by the levy and hunkered down in the brush
i started sighting in my gear when this little green man appeared
and he looked right through my soul while in my eyes he stared
and i knew he must have got scared when he saw i had no fear
and i’d smoke his little green ass without shedding a tear
and then he disappeared, and i said, “man, this is really getting weird”
and so i ran through that trailer park like a redneck paul revere
i said, “the aliens are coming, and no, there ain’t no sense in running, boys
let’s take our stand here, y’all, let’s do some extraterrestrial hunting”

[chorus]
’cause i’m just, i’m just, i’m just waiting on them aliens to come
i’ve been, i’ve been, i’ve been waitin’ on them aliens to come
i’ve been, i’ve been, i’ve been waitin’ on them aliens to come

[verse 3]
’cause stars fell on alabama and a lot of other sh+t has too
but the last thing we we’re gonna take was being pursued
by some alien crew who intergalactically flew through
time and sp+ce just to land into
the back 40 trailer park, and yeah, we made our mark
we beat them aliens back and we did it in the dark
and we found wanda and her only remark was that she gets they had to abduct her
but in her nightgown? man, that was just harsh
and i even stole a little sp+ce traveling cart, i got it out in the barn
and me and bubba painted it camouflage and we’re about to embark
as an interstellar, white trash lewis and clark
we’re gonna be the first alabama astronauts, ’cause i’ve been, i’ve been
[chorus]
i’ve been, i’ve been waitin’ on them aliens to come
yes, i’ve been, i’ve been waitin’ on them aliens to come
’cause i’ve been, i’ve been, i’ve been waitin’ on them aliens to come

- abe partridge lyrics

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