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abner jay - don't mess with me baby lyrics

[spoken]
terrible things; that’s what’s getting all the attention nowadays. you take girls, they like terrible boys who look terrible, act terrible, smell terrible, and do terrible

listen, they got a pill on the market now for fellas who’re having a bit of trouble, but you got to swallow it down quickly. don’t you get a stiff neck!

mothers are funny about their daughters. a daughter can be a no+good girl, a wino, a bomb, a two+cent wh0re, and she can be associating with a business executive, a used car salesman, a tree trimmer, a+a cesspool repairman, but still that mama feels her daughter is better than men

i knew a woman who wanted her daughter to marry a man who’d never slept with another woman! she hired two private detectives, told them, “search all over the united states and find a man for my daughter who never slept with another woman! i don’t want my daughter marryin’ no man who been snowin’ in another woman face!”

two private detectives wore out two new cadillacs, still hadn’t found no such man. come in all tired, broken down, and disgusted. had been smoking pot, taking lsd, just everything they could get their hands on to keep pep

woman said, “y’all ain’t found n0body?”
“no.”
“you been lookin’?”
“lady, we done wore out two sets of bf goodrich tires on that car. we can’t find no such man.”
woman said, “come on in my office!”
took out a checkbook, said, “i want you to travel by airplane and i want you to search all over the world for a man for my daughter who never slept with another woman.”
they searched in south america, they searched in paris… oughta knowed they wasn’t gonna find somebody in paris. shows you how stupid detectives can be. that’s why they’re detectives in the first place

so they found a man in australia. the arrangements were made and they got married. night after the wedding, the girl was in the bathroom getting ready for freddy, sprinkling on chanel #5 and dustin’ pot all around. while she was in the bathroom getting ready, the husband was in the bedroom busy, moving all the furniture out of the bedroom, stacking it up in the living room ‘side the wall. screwed the mirror off, stacked it upside the wall. just busy back+whackin’ in his bbds. wife come out the bathroom dressed in a black negligee, smelling like a french wh0re

“what do you mean? moving all this furniture outta the bedroom, stackin’ it up in the living room ‘side the wall? my mama just done brought me here, is you a fool?”

husband didn’t even look back. got all the furniture moved outta the bedroom stacked up in the living room upside the wall, then he turned toward his s+xy wife, and he said, “well, honey, i ain’t never slept with no woman, sure. but if it’s like those kangaroos, we’re gonna need all the room we can get!”

[verse 1]
don’t mess with me baby
i’ve had enough of you
don’t mess with me baby
and i declare, i declare
i am through
[verse 2]
oh, go, go, go away baby
i don’t need you no more
go go go go go away baby
i don’t need you no more
i don’t care what you do
not where you go
stay away from my front door

[outro]
don’t mess with me baby
and i declare, i declare
i am through

- abner jay lyrics

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