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across five aprils (sd) - i am alone lyrics

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i’m driving in the darkness
my shoulders hunched in concentration
holding the light lever so that i use both low and high beams at the same time
make sure that my path is not the one
you didn’t happen to choose this night

i quietly sing along to the song on speakers
screams to me of all the things i am not
and all the things that my life never was
because things used to be painted in red and gold and orange
on that noon that i could grab the sun by its flares
things used to be so flamboyant and certain
sing along with the song that said i am alone

i am screaming my end of life
i am screaming at the top of my lungs
i won’t stare or talk
oh, this is what it does
every day it’s all my fault
i am screaming, asking you
and i cared
if you could hear all you could do is laugh
and i’m saying it to make you understand
never be afraid of what you mean to me in every language

for the first time in my life, i feel utterly alone
i’m going home
i’m going home, when you’re like no home i’ve ever known
isn’t this f+cked? apparent are the kind that betrayed
in old friends, that doubles
as enemies

- across five aprils sd lyrics

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