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actuallytalik - mindful failure lyrics

[verse]
i’ve done so many people wrong
tryna convince myself that i’m indeed strong
but i need help
i never say it, i just keep it in my mind
and despite of being me
all the are words are hard to find
i’m blind to the answers
i got questions
but i’m too ignorant for progression
sitting down wallowing deep in my depression
mask my sadness
with this salad i’m addressing
i feel it’s invalid just like the time i’m investing
just settle down
in my dreams
i’m always tearing at the seams
feeling blue like my jeans
all this loathe i demean
i mean
what’s the rеal weight of an action
and i don’t think think i’m really gaining any traction
i mean i think i’m gеtting put against the ropes with a dead man
walking got me choking
got me gasping
can you imagine
so many people in the world grieving
and i don’t even think i know if it’s worth leading
i ponder could i do better if i really tried
but every time that i fail
i can’t help but sit and cry
im about to relish in this anguish
and in my heart i’m always feeling like a hostage
i’m in despair
i got the faith of a man
that’s looking down at a barrel
while he says his last prayer
man this heart beyond repair

i shed a tear while i dream
a dream that’s too painful
i see the best dad alive
i feel thankful
but every time i awake
i’m all wet
pillow soaked in tears
underneath it’s all sweat

cause i think back far
to a young adolescent
i was happy go lucky
all the time effervescent
but the past is the pass
right now is a present
dying atones
dying alone a peasant
crescent moon
if i don’t move
i’ll never be happy
stuck cause i lost my granddad and my pappy
so now i’m grieving
even when i’m sleeping
it’s like they’re still alive
it’s like they’re here still breathing
i can’t recognize the real me
and only few will stick here and try to feel me
man i’m sitting in the shadows yet i still see
that this man ain’t enough so i ask please k!ll me
[hook]
oh, bury my mother, pale and slight
bury my father with his eyes shut tight
bury my sisters
two by two
and then when you’re done
let’s bury me too

- actuallytalik lyrics

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