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ada rook - ruiness lyrics

everything is so embarrassing still
critical interior pressure builds
caught looking thru the crack in the door
so bright, so destructive
i want it
wish i couldve figured it out
before i grew up enough to dodge the question
wish i couldve given it all i had
and crashed and burned or been anything
better than another name
fading into radiation
i dont wanna be known i just wanna be seen
let me go drop me let me be free

im falling in between everything dear to me
it never ends
where the f+ck do i belong
and why can i never commit to it?
is this all there is?
why can’t i need anything
without it always being forbidden?
i learned to be afraid of myself
now im always on the edge
always looking in

the bleak truth remains
it never goes away
stupid f+cking puppets haven’t u heard?
whatever u think of me it’s worse
i dont have anywhere to turn and i like it
just wish i could still trust myself
n0body can ever return
true contact once it occurs
avoid the eyes and never try to look back

ive complicated so much sh+t
in my cowardice
when all that i wanted
was just for someone to see me

but that is not who i am anymore
i can see her behind me
no life in her eyes

i pull myself again to my feet
i cannot ever let go
ill act my age and f+cking fade away
and give up all control
and never show anything
i wish someone would tell me
all my hidden parts will become known
threat or comfort, i dont care
as long as i can have the hope
that im not alone

- ada rook lyrics

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