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adam sandler - the christmas song lyrics

[intro: spoken]
well, it’s the holiday season
and santa is checking his list
to see who’s naughty or nice
and i’m kind of feeling guilty
so, i wrote a song

[verse 1]
so many presents, so little time
santa won’t be coming by my house this year
’cause i tried to drown my sister
and i pierced my ear
oh, mama made it perfectly clear
santa don’t like bad boys
especially jewish ones

[verse 2]
skanif+kanof and lego blocks
are what i desire
so, why’d i have to set
the pizza guy’s hair of fire
i told him i was sorry, i’m a liar
so, no toys for me
i don’t deserve them

[bridge]
i couldn’t wait for a big wheel
as the holiday nearеd
but then i told my grandma
that she had a beard
[interlude: spoken]
dеar santa
i know what my problem is
why i can’t be good
it’s a fear of intimacy
you see, my whole life
whenever i met someone
really great like you
i keep feeling like
i’m getting too close to them
and something inside me
makes me want to screw it up
so, in a weird way:
the reason i’m so bad
is because i love you so much, santa

[verse 3]
rock ’em sock ’em robots
is what i was hoping for
but then i made a death threat
to vice president gore
oh, santa won’t be knocking on my door
’cause he’s a big, fat wh0re
what made me say that

[bridge]
chutes and ladders
would be so good indeed
so, why’d i have to sell
that cop a bag of weed
[bridge]
so, santa please give me
my easy bake oven
i swear i thought billy goats
were made for loving

[verse 4]
so santa, won’t you
accept my apologies
santa, can’t you see
i’m begging you please
oh santa, next year
i’ll do you right
like from new york
it’s sat+rday night

- adam sandler lyrics

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