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aeli - eating me alive lyrics

i’m a creep, i’m a weirdo, call me f-cking mr. hide
i’m a loser, i’m a coward, and i always f-cking lie
though i always tell the truth, that’s how you view me in your eyes
i don’t blame you though, i have got a confusing f-cking life
let me explain, let me take you on a tour through my mind
let me show you why i’m gangster yet i be so f-cking kind
let me tell you how i never fought but i know how to fight
let me show you why i am so loud but be so f-cking quiet
let me explain how i’m from “dena” and have 16 friends that died
not from cancer or from aids, but from drugs and gang banging lives
let me tell you why i know the hood but dads house looks so nice
let me tell you exactly how my city got gentrified
let me explain why i believe in god yet church ain’t in my life
let me tell you why am so confident but be so shy
let me tell you how, what, when, and where, who and exactly why
let me tell you all the ways my critics could eat me alive

chorus: sometimes i feel like, they’re eating me alive x4

1993, garfield hospital, you see, was the day my mom gave birth
to little innocent me, a few years after my dad
had got sentenced to twenty, years up in the pen until a miracle had creep’d
yea the case got dropped, so for god my pops had seek’d
los angeles on the east, was where i lived until we
had moved to pasadena, yes acacia be my street
7 years old started attending jackson elementary
yes those times were hard, yes at times it got crazy
waking up to some gunshots, 3 dead “jim’s” across the street
got home to my mom doing drugs, while my dad was out preaching
i don’t blame her it was prolly’ hard being g-y and being married
to a man she never loved, with g-ys being judged on the daily
it was prolly’ scary coming out the closet when all people see
is a monster in the closet, man isn’t that what they teach?
but mama i still love you no matter what people may think

chorus

i’ll take you back to jr. high, oh boy yea those were hard times
walking home from the bus stop, my bros banged on people a lot
i was “blood” affiliated, swear the “crips” had almost shot
all of us like 50 times, i thank god that i’m still alive
got home to see my pops all alone sitting all on the couch
with his head between his arms praying to god he’ll find a job
see my parents had divorced, see my mom had finally got
the freedom she always wanted, sadly my dad had got caught
all up in the middle before “dena” had got gentrified
now we stuck up in the ghetto with no money, find a plot
to get the f-ck up out this place, had to keep all our heads up high
who would of knew that in the end that our prayers helped a lot
yes my dad now has a job, now my brother is in college
i’m loving this music sh-t, no more fighting, getting robbed
traded a dub now for a tune and no more tears fall from my eyes, that’s cause’ i don’t place faith in humans, it’s in god my faith relies

chorus

- aeli lyrics

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