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aesop rock – one of four (thank you) lyrics

one of four
my name is ian mathias bavitz
i was born in 1-9-7-6, at syosset hospital, located in long island, ny
i am 6 foot 4, i weigh 2-0-0 pounds
i have brown hair and green eyes
i enjoy writing songs, painting, movies and diner food
i have two brothers, chris and graham
and two parents, paul and jameija
in august of 2-0-0-1 i went crazy..

this was originally not for public consumption
this was made for four people… four people that literally saved my life
they know who they are..
and, uh… i mean, i could live to be a thousand years old and never re-pay them
i don’t think this song would pay for them
but hopefully by putting it out, push the bank a little further..

this ain’t a burner for the whips (no it isn’t)
this ain’t even aesop rock fly earthworm demeanor (no it isn’t)
my name is ian mathias bavitz and i was born in long island, new york
seventy six, before graham and after chris… ok
in august of 2001 my seemingly splinter-proof brain bone scaffolding imploded
i kept it on the hush, but nearly tumbling
to the cold hard concrete on near bodega trips
for cigarettes and soda, shook me to casper
dizzy with a nausea chaser, motor sensory eraser
gorophobe tunnel vision, guilt, self loathing arrangement
rose rapidly outta bog i’d never fished in
that abates three separate foreign meds
while i seems to hook lines and syncro simple fishing
simple primitive self taught, easing of soul, mind and body
but the symptoms rejected my cave-man modus operandi
so now it’s one fish belly up, through medicated mileage
shrinks that get 250 an hour for awkward silence
and, i’d be lying if i said all of this
made even the slightest fragment of sense to me
that’s frail… simply put
i don’t know what happened, or what’s still happening
i literally feel like i’m t–tering on the blunt edge of my sanity
jaime, i k!lled the robots and i’m sorry
broke down in front of you, embarr-ssed
but you lent a heart and hand that only you could
you’re one of my best friends and yes i’d take that bullet for you
that’s my word, which is about all i have left
tony, i know you know i’m crazy, cause you told me
but that didn’t ever bother you, i hold you as my brother ’til death
and i got your back if ever the drunk goblin step
for makin’ a cat laugh when i was walking with the dead
kathryn, mother figure, older sister, concerned beyond limits
letting me know i wasn’t the only one with this
continuous offers for vacation, chicago visits
talked me through repair of a head full of broken pistons
raia, for the late night movie rentals and the company i needed
an’ you knew it, but i just wouldn’t admit it
you listened to me blab about my issues for hours
offer incredible advice, gave me a hug when i was finished
am i a jack of all trades? no… i like to write songs though
are they good? i dunno..
but i could tell you that i only write sh-t down when i believe it
so take this how you want, but know i mean it
i want you all to know that i’m scared
now my f-ckin’ crooked soul never faced a monster like the last few months
ever in my whole life… i wish i could explain this better (i can’t)
but the pieces won’t formulate it to anything even close to cohesive
so i guess this is my feeble way to thank you
four soldiers that extended something sacred off the purity of kindness
i owe you all my life and please don’t argue with that statement
cause without y’all i may not have a life to offer, take it

thank you
i wish i could explain this better. (thank you)
i’m sorry for burdening your pleasures. (thank you)
i love you all with all that’s left of me. (thank you)
for helping try to k!ll what made a mess of me. (thank you)
somehow, someway. (thank you)
i’mma get you back someday. (thank you)
just gotta figure this all out… (thank you) so..

i guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back
how one man can literally buckle under the same pressures
other men operate normally under
i have scoped this out from all angles, multiple times
i have been over everything in my head, ’till i can’t think anymore
but i guess some times, when you can’t breathe, there are people there
to breathe for you
i am lucky enough to have those people around me
thank you for helping me to not die
thank you for helping me to not die

pocket full of pennies, and a soul gone tilt
c-ckpit full of memories and a drain full of guilt

- aesop rock lyrics

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