agora (f.k.a. drake hawkins) - real love lyrics
[verse 1]
yuh
when i reflect i see blood on my face
yuh
can’t comprehend how i got to this place
yuh
already drowning without a way out
how
two million leagues
holes and leaks i’ve been sprayed with
down
so far down deep it’s astounding i made it around
was lost at sea ‘came a shark and embraced it
oh wow
body can’t tolerate to go more down
but now i put my head where my feet is and chase it
devout anhedonic
kept it flowing since placement
without
i don’t know what i would focus my days on
the clouds were important to distort what i think
but the ground
more endorphins could be stored in its grains
not without a purpose to journey furthеr
and figure out all potential benеfits
even if it’s bullet in mouth
take me out the planet that damaged me
development grayed
someone needs to pay, is it me?
i’m tryna figure it out
[refrain]
tryna figure it out
someone needs to pay, is it me?
i’m tryna figure it out
do i need to be dead
i’m tryna figure it out
[chorus]
self indulgent help me only
never notice no one else
i’m selfish hope is out of focus
don’t i know it’s far from love
i swear to god i’m metamorphing
only human by myself
i’m selfish hope is out of focus
don’t i know it’s far from love
self indulgent help me only
never notice no one else
i’m selfish hope is out of focus
don’t i know it’s far from love
i swear to god i’m metamorphing
only human by myself
i’m selfish hope is out of focus
don’t i know it’s far from love
[bridge]
yuh
i guess my momma left
because she loved me
i guess my daddy left
because he loved me
i guess that amy beat me
‘cause she loved me
i guess her husband beat me
‘cause he loved me
i guess my brother doesn’t call
because he loves me
i guess my sister caught a body
‘cause she loves me
wants me to write her a letter
because she loves me
they never loved me
they’ll never
[verse 2]
yuh
momma left me ‘fore i even knew
what having momma was
she left all of us
one at a time bodies pile up
she wanted a kid and i wanted a mom
but it wasn’t on top of her modest plot
but c+ck was and she went
hopped on a train right before i was six
and soon made another kid that she kept
sh+t
still making money off me and my brother
the government funds being spent
sh+t
condoms and liquor and cigarettes
to bury her regrets
and keep on digging a hole
of past indulgences from grandparents
who put it up deep in her hole
and warped what fairness is
and parents don’t mean sh+t no more
daddy left me for another kid ‘fore my momma did
he was seeking love
at twenty+six he made a heinous choice
by f+cking a fifteen year old girl
while married still
screaming innocence
and his parents believed him but uh
mountain of evidence put my dad’s
name on the registry
making my chances of meeting him none
after a couple of years my brother appeared
from my momma’s infidelity
which set off a set of alarms there
in my fathers head
and he got heated as f+ck
wrote her a letter with many grammatical errors
she got it and crumpled it up
i got it a couple of years later and to this day
this is all that i got
so tell me what love is, i don’t buy it
it’s nothing
i’m done trying to function in the quiet emotions
imma riot, it’s hopeless
imma die with no notion of what life is with both parents
i got neither
i’m hoping in the next life
that i’m chosen to be safe at night
and have real love
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