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aidan woods - untitled lyrics

[intro/verse 1]
i once met a kid who was only nineteen
dark hair, good heart, his eyes were olive green
he didn’t move a muscle and he couldn’t even speak
and he hasn’t done either since the metal hit his meat
i didn’t meet him in school or through any of my friends
instead i met him somewhere that was full of liments
like an old slinky the situation was bent
you see i met this kid after he was consumed by his death
yet just because i met him after he had died
doesn’t mean that his life is no longer alive
little raps ‘n tracks in his diary left behind
explained this child’s desperate demise

-pages open-

[verse 2]
sorry ma, not you pa, i hope you can forgive me
i was standing in the rain too long without a marquee
while seeing all the others happy with their palm trees
i was feeling defenceless, kinda like a draftee
remember back in florida back when i was only five?
we used to sing songs together on long sunday drives
dinner as a family and movies once back inside
sister’d bring you homework and ask you for advice
then on monday’s we’d go play rounds of mini golf
as one of us would laugh, our happiness would revolve
until by it, all the other emotions were engulfed
we had fun and loved each other, that was the result
we laughed and we cried, we’d even wrestle each other
i remember you’d always call me your little crusher
it didn’t take me long though until i discovered
that no matter how hard you’d try, you’d never recover

[verse 3]
remember back in la when i was only ten?
it was the same year for christmas you got me that fountain pen
and to be completely honest i still use it now and then
the black ink it bled created lines you couldn’t comprehend
like the time i wrote you your very own song
you said you loved it, and listened to it all day long
it had something to do with my sense of right and wrong
you said it was beautiful, i said i wrote it in a salon
or the time in la that we went to see the clippers?
it was the same day we got mom that new pair of slippers
see i remember even from the start you were teaching me to be bigger
to be rude or unjust was something i was instilled not to consider
you know, the advice you gave me growing up was true
i just wish you could’ve listened to yourself too
moment you were back from the bars, drinking resumed
and all afternoon, you knew we didn’t approve

[verse 4]
and then when i was fifteen we moved way up north
the winters were cold but we’d travel back and forth
but that never made up for your diminishing support
trust me, dad, it’s like you didn’t care anymore
mom and my relationship was actually pretty well
mom and your relationship was turning into h-ll
i’d stay at school late, 30 minutes past the bell
just because coming home made me feel too overwhelmed
but hey we still had some good times
just not like we used to, i wish i could rewind
to the days before you’d have to spend every last dime
i just wish the first day you were offered you would’ve declined
but if you could, you should, go back and try to change
all those things that you did that did damage to your brain
cuz it never hurt you but it caused a ton of pain
to my mother, myself, even my siblings felt the same

[verse 5]
yesterday i turned nineteen but now i’m done aging
you’ve been drinking since last tuesday, you can’t control your cravings
you grabbed me by my neck and then started violently shaking
until my mother grabbed the candlestick and in violence, started engaging
yeah you beat us up before and it’s nothing new to be attacked
but that last fight, dad, it was the straw that broke the camels back
did you know i’ve been praying to god each night you’ll drop dead from a heart attack?
you know, even if i said that to your face i doubt it’d make an impact
knowing you you’d go grab another brew
lean back and kick off your d-mn shoes
yelling at us all because we’ve got nothin’ to do
when we’re picking up the mess that has been caused by you
you make me want to f-cking k!ll myself instead
i bet you didn’t know i’m writing these lines with my old fountain pen
but the more i write the more the pen feels strong in my hend, (hand)
so i raise my arm, part of the pen in my hand and part into the air it extends
and then with one quick and swift blow, it sinks right into my head

- aidan woods lyrics

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