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aj mcloughlin - the story about her lyrics

there is no antidote
im starting to lose hope
that there is a way to cope
with all this pain
it doesn’t change
it remains the same
before i go insane
inside the midst of chaos
trying my best not get lost
but i cannot see inside the dark
so i gave you my heart
in return you said you would guide me stay beside me
but you were the one to blind me
now i sit alone next to a wishing well
wishing i would have somebody to tell
but who?
n0body really knows you
n0body really knows the truth
sorry excuse me for assuming
you’re not loving but consuming
you’re not beautiful but deceiving
my mistake was in believing
dumb of me to believe
dumb of me to think
you would be any different
no difference
treat me like a corpse
hurt me with no remorse
i got sucked inside a cyclone
i got stuck inside a twisted cycle
nowhere else to go
solitude my home
where i spend most of my time
don’t like wasting others but everybody likes to waste mine
i heard her calling through the grapevine
sour sweet and divine
in love when you were mine
our love was a sin was a crime
thought you were heaven sent but now i know the devil sent you
to take away my youth
to take away everything i am
to take away everything i have
you laughed while i stood inside the rain
smiled while i had to endure our pain
our love fades the pain stays
it left me in remains
it is all that remains
losing myself inside of the void
became someone you try to avoid
left me behind left me to die
asking myself why?
as i lay in my casket, grasping for air
would you actually be there?
did you actually ever care?
i gave up and stayed silent in despair
this game we played was quite unfair
to give more than i receive
i was blind to see
you saw me as entertainment
something to play with
someone to use im such a fool
to think you had fallen for me too
i’m the only one falling
now i hear death calling
near my favorite tree with a slip knot
maybe i will maybe i will not
flip a coin i like my odds
as i burn and bleed
asking to be freed
waiting to be seen
you had me like a feen
the way you walk to me
the way you talk to me
saying that you want me
all you do is taunt me
took me at a young age
held captive inside of a cage
still i say, i love you
love was the one thing i wanted from you
you sadly never gave me none
afraid of what you have become
i should have run but i was stuck in amazement
stuck inside a maze not knowing which way to turn so i turned to you
you only left me more confused
more used more bruised
you took advantage
regardless the amount of damage
left me more damaged
it’s hard to admit but dammit
behind the allusion only lies corruption
sadly i still need you to function
a necessity
for me to be me
for me to feel free
for me to simply breathe
never saw the trap right infront of me
throw me away when you’re done with me
what did i get myself into?
tore me down the middle in two
said i was important too
yet you had me patiently waiting
suicide what i’m debating
voices saying i should drop dead
inside my own head
my depression has a hold of me
my anxiety doesn’t let me sleep
the darkness has consumed me
never thought your intentions were to use me
good job you fooled me
as i look at you with tears in my eyes
all you say aj you’ll be okay!
you’re fine!
but once again you have lied
forever a memory we began to fade
like all the promises you made
your love was fake
i was yours to take
now i remain awake
i can no longer fall asleep
unless you right next to me
unless you hold on to me
please don’t ever leave
without i don’t think i can breathe
i start to have withdraws
i start to hear the voices calls
i start to think about suicide
i start to fear the urge to die
do i deserve to remain alive??
i fell in love with a lie
you didn’t really love me
you loved what you got from me
complete control
now i’m drowning slow
sinking while i’m thinking
about the two of us
how hard i fell love?
something you cannot say
you treated me in a completely different way
you had me locked in chains
embarrassed i was to remain a secret
waiting for my mistress
to return don’t worry she will return
or i hope so i’m not that hopeful
as i watch the snow fall
as i watch my phone get a miss call
i start reminisce i start to miss
the times that were everything
i was promised eden and better things
all lies and deception
false promises i see your intention
in love with the affection
in love with the attention
im drawn to you
afraid because i’m on to you?!
you became a drug and i became an addict please i must have it
give me my love
im sorry my love i was never enough
truly don’t know if i’ll ever be
don’t know if i’ll continue to breathe
i have started to see
the truth inside the lies
i have started to realize
that you’re my abuser
happy i was of use to her
thank you lucifer
i fall in love once more
till death i’m yours

- aj mcloughlin lyrics

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