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akotowaa - iwitp lyrics

[meffstone]
i wasn’t in the pictures
i wasn’t in the magazines
those girls were sisters
but i wasn’t mom’s offspring

they always told me lies
like i belonged with their kind
said there was room
for me to squeeze inside

an unwise thing
like turning portrait to widescreen
and family photos with siblings
and ghost-things

[akotowaa]
i don’t even want to be in the photos
i just wish i could have been bolder

[meffstone]
those picture frames will never tell of my presence
all evidence erased of my existence
most faces fade in the face of indifference
but it doesn’t change; i wasn’t in those pictures

[akotowaa]
i redefined lonely
now it kind of feels like being forgotten because i haven’t taken enough selfies
i left that for the photogenic people with the iphone 6s
i watch myself closely
but everyone’s eyes just seem to freaking p-ss over
like the angel of death at the p-ssover
and there’s a red cross embossed on my chest and uh
i’m a ghost to the photographer
the element he never thought he could add after
the retouch and the saturate
elevate beauty, make the picture immaculate
block out the blemishes
diagnose the disparities
and with my background, i’m not worthy of a background
was i ostracized by design
or did everyone think i was fine?

[meffstone]
i wasn’t in the pictures
i wasn’t in the magazines
those girls were sisters
but i wasn’t mom’s offspring

they always told me lies
like i belonged with their kind
said there was room
for me to squeeze inside

an unwise thing
like turning portrait to widescreen
and family photos with siblings
and ghost-things

[akotowaa]
i don’t even want to be in the photos
i just wish i could have been bolder

[meffstone]
those picture frames will never tell of my presence
all evidence erased of my existence
most faces fade in the face of indifference
but it doesn’t change; i wasn’t in those pictures

[akotowaa]
they never believe me when i say that i don’t have friends
do they not understand that a cordial “hi”
is where my relationships begin and end?
being vaguely known is not being liked;
being vaguely liked is not being loved
the second i’m out of sight, i’m out of mind
and there’s not a portrait in sight to remind them that i was here like beyonce
“we’ll miss you much” is what they all say
but mental images were not meant to last forever
and with no photos, empathic bonds will sever
i couldn’t be a part of what i didn’t feel a part of
i couldn’t feel a part of what didn’t want me a part of it
so you could say that i was camera-shy
and that’s code for being singular by design

[meffstone]
those picture frames will never tell of my presence
all evidence erased of my existence
most faces fade in the face of indifference
but it doesn’t change; i wasn’t in those pictures

[akotowaa]
and years down the line
when they try to understand
why there’s a shadow inside
i wonder what they’ll decide
as the best explanation for the ghost infiltration
sometimes i cried
but i see now that that was a silly reaction
when that movie director yells “action!”
they’re going to be looking for things
to prove that they knew me
or then again, they might not
they might never give me a thought
unless i get shot
and make it on national television
and turn into
hashtags on tumblr blogs
but i guess what i’m really tryna ask is
what is it about us that makes us so p-ssive
to people who just want to be noticed
like our social lenses are out of focus?

[meffstone]
those picture frames will never tell of my presence
all evidence erased of my existence
most faces fade in the face of indifference

[akotowaa]
but it doesn’t change; i wasn’t in those pictures

- akotowaa lyrics

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