al duvall - labias & genitalmen lyrics
i’m clean as a whistle when a stripper bares her breast
sober as a judge at a midget+tossing test
if lies were latin, i would be the pope
and you couldn’t find my heart with a stethoscope
now, as the crow flies, she’s five+foot+one
but take it slow, guys++the hike is half the fun
though every beau tries, she’ll never learn her place
’cause her folks ate their dinner before they said grace
my baby wore a salvation army suit
she lost a heel when she gave me the boot
i take to drinking lacquer from a bowl
when i think of her out praying for some other guy’s soul
l+b++s and genitalmen, these pages from my journal
l+b++s and genitalmen, concern a love eternal
it maybe is accidental when some parts i can’t recall
but it’s better to have loved a short girl than to never have loved at all
she fixed me breakfast beneath a sugar moon
it must be jelly, because i want to spoon
she said “how awful! what happened to the spread?”
and mama laid her marmalade on my day+old bread
i worked the zipper and opened up her clothes
she was thrown in the cot; i was caught in the throes
i’d like to meet her maker who watches from above
i’m sick as a dog and i’m ready for love
the reverend roth calls upon the widow sump
he shakes her tree, then he preaches on the stump
he chews on mothb+lls to purify his breath
she’s the lily of the valley of the shadow of death
l+b++s and genitalmen, these pages from my journal
l+b++s and genitalmen, concern a love eternal
it maybe is accidental when some parts i can’t recall
but it’s better to have loved a short girl than to never have loved at all
i shall perform the aforementioned vice
until h+ll freezes over++then i’ll do it on the ice
i hate to leave off before the last refrain
but my suit is made of paper, and it feels like rain
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