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alan menken - dentist! [film version] lyrics

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[orin]
when i was young and just a bad little kid
my momma noticed funny things i did
like shootin’ puppies with a b b gun
i’d poison guppies, and when i was done
i’d find a p-ssy cat and bash its head
that’s when my momma said

[crystal, ronette, chiffon]
what did she say?

[orin]
she said “my boy, i think someday
you’ll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay”

you’ll be a dentist
(be a dentist)
you have a talent for causing things pain
(pain)
son, be a dentist
(son, be a dentist)
people will pay you to be inhumane
(inhumane)
your temperament’s wrong for the priesthood
and teaching would suit you still less
son, be a dentist you’ll be a success

[crystal, ronette, chiffon]
here he is folks, the leader of the plaque!
watch him suck up that gas, oh my god
he is a dentist and he’ll never ever be any good
who wants their t–th done by the marquis de sade?

[patient]
oh, that hurts, wait, i’m not numb

[orin]
ehh, shut up, open wide, here i come
i am your dentist
(goodness gracious)
and i enjoy the career that i picked
(love it)
i am your dentist
(fitting braces)
and i get off on the pain i inflict
(you really love it)

i thrill when i drill a bicuspid
(ooh, bicuspid)
it’s swell, though they tell me i’m maladjusted
(dentist)
and though it may cause my patients distress
(distress)
somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
i know, i know that my momma’s proud of me
oh, momma

’cause i’m a dentist, and a success

say aah!
(ahh)
say aah!
(ahh)
say ahh!
(ahh)
now spit!

- alan menken lyrics

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