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alex zandyr - hate myself lyrics

[hook]
can’t take this no more
wanna cry no more
feel pain no more
memories no more
insecurities
always with me
never let me be
just wanna feel normal
can’t take this no more
wanna cry no more
feel pain no more
memories no more
insecurities
always with me
never let me be
just wanna feel normal

[verse 1]
since the beginning, i always felt like this
ever since i was 10 making myself feel like sh+t
trouble falling asleep so i spend all of my time
saying i’m worthless till’ i’m on the verge of crying
push it over the edge now i’m pouring out the tears
still telling myself things i don’t like to hear
just so then i can finally get some f+ckin rest
and i wonder why i’m now always longing for my death
that ain’t the end of it, nah there’s still damage to be done
like my dad rarely laughing at my jokes when i was young
tells me one day, that maybe i’ll get better
take this as a way of throwing out all of the effort
instead, i convince myself that i’ll never be funny
7 years later it’s still conditioned in me sadly
so when people say that it’s the key of dating (be funny)
it makes me realize that i’ll always be failing
[bridge]
spent my whole life being always knocked down
whether be my me or someone that’s around
everything about me being picked out like it’s full of wealth
no wonder i hate myself

[verse 2]
at age 19, i’m only 5’5
a short king that doesn’t wanna be alive
cause my entire life i was shorter than everyone i knew
and it made me become really insecure
then i get a girlfriend, who’s a few inches taller
spend a few years feeling like i’m getting smaller
complaining about my height, that i feel like i’m a kid
a gene i can’t control has me defeated
now i see myself in this distorted pov
where i’m 3 feet tall surrounded by a bunch of 30s
gotta look down in order to see me
go out in public and feel i’m a 幼児
if that wasn’t bad enough, now i can barely speak
a language i was born with feels complex to me
always struggle with the words, end up stuttering
everyone laughs, guess i win the clown turnering
[bridge]
spent my whole life being always knocked down
whether be my me or someone that’s around
everything about me being picked out like it’s full of wealth
no wonder i hate myself

(i hate my life)

- alex zandyr lyrics

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