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alexandra valentine - being yourself is harder than it looks lyrics

let’s take everything i’ve learned
and put it in reverse
an entire deconstruction of myself

if you want to live this way
here’s the thing that no one says
you’ll have to just rip your whole self away

i’m done living through compromise
i want to see through my own eyes
without my vision fogging up with doubt

what’s it like to live without all of the pain
a longing for that feelings come again

so let’s take everything i’ve learned
and put it in reverse
an entire deconstruction of myself

i wanted it so bad
that i took everything i had
and i threw it all away just to survive

and i kept it all to myself
questions piled up on a shelf
the inside of my brain like a battleground
why must i be born this way
and lie to myself that it’s ok
did i do something wrong in a past life

how does it feel to live without all of the weight
is there any time or is it too late

so let’s take everything i’ve learned
and put it in reverse
is there still time to fix my sense of self

i’ve wanted this so bad
that it took everything i had
to hold myself together in the end

to conquer your fear you must first face it
and i’ve been too afraid to admit that i was not ok
afraid that i’d been wasting my time
chasing lofty dreams instead of toeing the line
so afraid i was that they would see the cracks too
everyone depending on me to see this through
unmovable unbreakable and always available
the biggest fear of mine was that i lied so many times
to so many different people who helped keep my peace of mind
unsure i’d ever be able forgive myself
or forget how many people that i told the same lies to
or would it ever be possible that i could ever be forgiven
and i took everything i learned
and then i just put myself first
there’s still time for me to start again

time for me to make a choice
time for me to raise my voice
i’ll keep screaming right until the bitter end

- alexandra valentine lyrics

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