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alixsep - past lyrics

[verse 1]:
as my past is getting longer
my future is getting smaller
been sitting in the corner of room
my brain is working like thunder

they always tell to forget past
i did it but what i feel now
is memories from my friends and
i miss ’em so much just right now

i miss the world without covid+19
became 19 when covid came in
all my teen life became a f+cking
prison time in the room i’m unseen…

i hate to be unseen
i don’t want to be alone
i just wanna sit and seek a sick amount of
attention to my being
it’s a f+cking need otherwise cannot feel the peace

[verse 2]:
sometimеs when i think about past
i miss many things that i had
sky ain’t the same f+cking color
i don’t latеly feel its motherf+cking brightness
d+mn, huh
and i just f+cking hate my past for being a nerd
i guess i was alone since start maybe
this life for me has a deep learning curve
i don’t even give a f+ck about it lately
i just want to run away from my past safely
so i can live my life without past surfing
i do not want to recall that i lost a friend
cause i was a dummy kid
i was a b+tch, yeah i do not want to remember:

i’m gonna be double 10 years without girlfriend
and the persons who made my memories
and now they are gone and became a memory
couldn’t forget ’em but they have forgotten me
i always missed ’em but they never missed my being
lonesome is worse than a break in relationship
i want the times that i wasted so carelessly
i am unable to control my jealously
yeah i don’t wanna remember facts
that i was bullied in school cause i was best in the math
no matter how successful i be in the future
i know that i was unable to conquer the past, uh…

- alixsep lyrics

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