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allan sherman - ringo (the ballad of ringo starr) lyrics

[verse 1]
he sat me down in the desert sand
with a comb and scissors in his hand
as he cut my hair, he said, “i’m the best!
the fastest barber in the west!”
i asked him where he’d gone to school
he said, “i studied in liverpool..
i met four kids called the beatles there;
i’d give my life just to cut the hair of ringo
(ringo, ringo)

[verse 2]
i met him next in the old town square
a voice was calling numbers there
the crowd was tense, listening hard
each one had some beans and a card
the voice called “5,” then “14”
they covered each number with a lima bean
five beans in a row means a bullet in the head
’cause way out west you could wind up dead playin’ bingo
(bingo, bingo)

[verse 3]
later that day about high noon
i saw him walk into the town saloon
with a dance hall girl they called coquette
looked to me like he was getting stinko
(stinko, stinko)
[verse 4]
he was laughing and having so much fun
you’d have though he was watching an old rerun of bilko
(bilko, bilko)

[verse 5]
and he went to the jukebox, feelin’ jolly
put on a record of h+llo, dolly! by satchmo
(satchmo, satchmo)

[verse 6]
he said, ” i look soft, but underneath
i’m so tough that i brush my t++th with brillo.”
(brillo, brillo)

[verse 7]
well, i looked in his glass to see what he had
what booze could drive a man so mad?
but there was no booze in his glass at all!
just ice cream, the kind they call pistachio
(pistachio, pistachio)

[outro]
pistachio must be dynamite
’cause he left for liverpool that night
for destiny had called him there
and he had to cut that ringo’s hair
but something went wrong, as i reckon you know
if you saw the news not long ago
’cause that barber had become a pistachio nut
and he’d plum forgot what he’d went there to cut
and he sent this cablegram collect to me:…
“guess who performed that tonsillectomy on ringo?”

(ringo, ringo)
(ringo, ringo)

- allan sherman lyrics

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