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almost always - needing me lyrics

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tangled amuck in your dreams
and not needing me
small root of sin
rotting my heart from inside
deem it weak or naive
or true enough, no
but i’m calling my bluff
jealous and selfish enough

sometimes i wonder if you can
see it when i speak
in the back of my throat
or in my breath as i breathe
bubbling like black tar
from the deepest parts of me
and i wish that i could convince you
but i have a clue what that means

you’ve never seen it before
or you’d be racing for the door
fear the manic depressive jail keeper
it’s all too much to ignore
i’d understand it more
if you were walled in and unwilling
to talk further

i would understand if you can’t stay
it doesn’t make much sense any other way
should god forgive the irrational self+pity
of a fool self+prescribing his own malady
in a rush of love from a love far beyond me
i’m lighted dark, a child waking from a bad dream



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