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alphabrownmusic - one fan lyrics

[intro]

driving home in the darkness
long day and i need rest
just yawned, that’s a testament
[yawn]
and again…
for once, there’s nothing in my head…

[verse 1]

now there’s something in my head
and i’m crying as i write this
emptying my mind until its…
where the traffic man when you need it?
i need to get these
lyrics out of my head
emotional wreck
i’m overdriving lights ahead
i can’t…
gonna’ scribble my art when the car rests
empty out my mind until its…
i’m at a red light so i can write all
one fan, that’s the title, i’ve decided
despite all, of my efforts, bеfore
to write about my mentor
i havеn’t found the words until tonight
so, here goes…
i’ve got one fan and it’s my mom man
she’s the one that understands
she’s the one when i wrote things down
and looked for help who raised her hand
who believed in me when all was lost
my rock from the bottom of the rocks
rocking in a hard place
trying to keep my mind straight
desolate days
etiquette plain
i lay on the floor
and felt nothing but pain
questions begin to arrange
we’d go for a walk and rearrange

only then, would i let her explore
the blown hinge of my lower jaw
meta more, physical
through the wire
i couldn’t speak my flaws
take my life and i’ll take on yours
home schooled me
when i got home from school
missed that exam
cause i’m rushed to the ward
i’m sitting in my hospital bed
she’s sitting on the chair just next
years of our lives
that’s where we spent
half+dead, on steads on a
iv drip with the strong meds
fist clenched in my mom’s hand
with the strongest love that i’ve ever felt

new news was always bad news
felt used and abused, it loosened our screws
we got lost in a world of we loss or we lose
ducks out of water, our ducts were out of water
screaming in corridor, on the floor
twenty+four, ward 7, real lesson

the test results are a big concern
the drugs we have, there’s a lot to learn
no guarantee you won’t take a turn
that when i found that you live and you learn
she was the lifeboat for my hardship
we made it out without drowning
grew richer with that 2 cents
her knowledge thrown in my fountain

we’re both introverts
who talk a lot, paradox
ideas exchanged
food cooked for me to contemplate
philosophy, and other ology’s
oddities in the odyssey
conversational curiosity
long walks, miles thousands
muddy boots and rolled trousers
dog growls at the other hounds
see fibonacci on bloomed flowers
we cover ground and become grounded
on those molehills, we moved mountains
mentally i found answers
to the questions i didn’t know i was asking
but, as time goes i expect change
when pain sails on a new wave
so, i make the most to appreciate
the simple things that we share today
like dim, light night chess games
contest for the checkmate

i reflect back on the years gone
write my wrongs
just wanna make you proud mom
cause you’re my one fan
i love you mom

[verse 2]

in the past i had two fans
my mom was one
the other was her mom, my nan
but she passed away
a few years back now
she looked after me when i was, off track
beaten bad, so deep, my soul sad
helped my mom an awful lot man

but even, way, way before that
when i was five or six maybe
i would sing, nursery rhymes standing on this blue stool, in the living room
humming parts because i’d forget the words to half of the tune
with an audience of one, two if the neighbour came around opportune
her tea, if stirred, well with a spoon, on those slow afternoons
would create, bubbles of money
she would say
kinda funny cause tonight
i’m stirring up thought, alone
feeling like the richest guy
in my introverted bedroom

oh, how the times have now changed
pains paved the way
and it’s rap i have chosen to express mind
and the loose change i have, i use
to make my tunes live
she taught me this
and other things i have yet to write
but, now she’s gone
and i’m left with one, fan
but i guess that’s life

- alphabrownmusic lyrics

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