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alxcc - in my head lyrics

(verse 1)
i’m addicted to pain inflicted
cause i use it to fuel my frustration
to push my motivation
to keep me moving even when im standing in place
i changed my face at a crazy pace to race, i’m pulling out my aces (why)
to save what i have in me
life brought me to my knees
the destruction of my family
to losing the one i loved so dearly
cut me down severely
so i’ve been aggressively keeping myself busy
to be able to escape bullsh+t of feelings
it’s ingrained in me to livе emotionally sensitive
but i’m sick of feeling soo sh+tty, honеstly
especially this f+cking anxiety
i’m working tirelessly to be able to gain peace inside of me
my inner voices are loud in me
there is light on this dark side of me
i’ve got the will see
i didn’t intend to build this to what you see
to anyone who’s been let down because of me
i want tell you, i’m soo sorry
i am, life really hasn’t been nice to me mentally

(bridge)
it’s okay, let it out now
things seem hard now
but things will get easier from here
there are better things coming your way
and you better believe it
after all the good things you’ve done for people
you deserve it
(verse 2)
i’m in my head way to much
you have no idea what it’s been like for me daily
honestly, i have no idea what truly makes me happy
i’m in this lonely alley, and all the days counting
the pressure is mounting
i’m grinding and pounding
at my surroundings
to make a happy ending
i’m sick of pretending that i’ve been okay
when i’ve not, y’all talk like it’s easy
but i’ve been sliced in the deep
now you see alxcc
he grew when the old me fell to his knees
he’s the guy in my head who i’ve been keeping beneath
i was f+cking scared of him honestly
but he made me into what i needed to be
what the f+ck is this honestly
maybe i was scared that he’d bring negativity?
actuality he’s the version of me who brought back the balance in me
and insures that everyone around me is actually good for me
i could’ve used that version of me back then
he’s the one who insures i pick up my pen
to write what i feel in my head
cause up until this point, i’ve been stuck in the darkness of my head

- alxcc lyrics

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