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amadeus awad - lonesome clown lyrics

i don’t deny
you won’t forget
you wonder why
i don’t regret

my mental sp-ce
is just a tomb
wrapped with lace
and thoughts of doom

i entered your mind and your flesh
and filled your lungs with toxic air
but is it fair to run?

a face that you should never see
was hidden, both from you and me
i swear i’ve tried to burn this corpse, but….

death is just a feeling that you’re never coming back
it’s just a bloated heart and an empty bed
a room that’s full of cries and screams that drive me mad
if death is just a feeling then i am surely dead

my eyes grow dim when the night comes down
i wear the mask of a lonesome clown

i lost my crown and now
i’m no one

i didn’t know it would be late
i thought you’d stay, i hoped you’d wait
the dream is short, my sins still grab me by the throat and…

in your mind, i am a beast, too wild to tame
and you’ll cry when the wind cries my name
i ask you forgiveness, i know you can hear this

i try to smile but the wounds forever bleed
down the aisle, i burned the books, denied the creed
i ask you forgiveness, i know you can hear this

take my hand, make me dream, tell me it’s not what it seems
wake me up, let me in, empty this heart of the sins
i beg you forgiveness, i know you can hear this

if i were you i would have run away, and if i were me i would have followed you
but as days slipped through the fabrics of my existence i
came to realize that i was no one
that everything i know of is an illusion, that i myself am a projection of hundreds of tiny thoughts that came together by the
coincidence of tragedy
that night
i took a pill for every thought
spilled ink over every little corner of the life i thought i’d lived
i closed my eyes, felt the pills invading my veins
felt the ink filling my lungs
my nerves started to give in as my sobriety broke down into darkness
the tiny rays of light that danced along the bed sheets
the next day were the alarming revelation that death is just a feeling
and that what i k!lled last night wasn’t my flesh
but my connection to the surreal skies i roamed in since the creation of the universe
i was already dead when you touched my face
death is just a feeling

- amadeus awad lyrics

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