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andradece - lost lyrics

[chorus]
i lost myself
i don’t blame n0body else
and i’ve drained my health
i don’t recognize myself
but you know my name, and you know my plans
i don’t want this world, you can have it all back

[verse 1]
when i die it ain’t gon’ matter the size of the coffin
i’d rather have gasoline poured over my carcass
we only pray when everything seems marvelous
or give a little ‘thanks’ after the fruit has been harvested
but that’s what it’s coming to i’ve been doing music this is all that i ever knew
and people tell me quit or put efforts to better use but people are jealous they’d rather cry and be mad at you
then do it themselves and i admit i’m afraid imma fail
scared to commit to a path that’s why i’m losing myself
yeah
and that’s an ugly reality i go without weeks talking to god
‘cuz i feel like he’s mad at me
and i ignore the phone if you contact me
i need a moment alone, i need a moment to breathe
i wanted this world and all that it had
but i got something better, you can have it all back
[chorus]
i lost myself
i don’t blame n0body else
and i’ve drained my health
i don’t recognize myself
but you know my name, and you know my plans
i don’t want this world, you can have it all back

[verse 2]
i tell myself have godfidence and believe he’s watching
i see it play out perfectly like i live in hospice
somewhere i have no stress, possibly live in solace
only to drown in my thoughts because i can’t stop it
my vibe turn the public audience off
some say i get too personal or graphic in songs
but this what happens a monster gets backed in a corner
they want a thriller movie and instead, they got horror
yeah
this music got me acting skeptical now, used to be confident now i’m second+guessing myself
used to be proud of surpassing a milestone
now i’m debating, was it really a challenge or was it set too low?
i used to feel rewarded like it was really worth it
now not even a spark of happiness came to the surface
god i’m resisting urges, to say i lack the courage
that my music is meaningless, lacking in purpose
[chorus]
i lost myself
i don’t blame n0body else
and i’ve drained my health
i don’t recognize myself
but you know my name, and you know my plans
i don’t want this world, you can have it all back

[bridge]
i ain’t go lie to you jealously got me acting out
the l+st, the greed, the music, it’s part of my style
i ain’t perfect my biggest issue’s my mouth
we all harbor a chapter we’d rather not read aloud (yeah)
we all deal with depression in different ways
you wear a smile and pretend your life is a beautiful place
okay, but i’m not fake like that
i wear my heart on my sleeve i know the cost and i embrace that debt

- andradece lyrics

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