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andrea mccullough, kim maresca - teaching third grade lyrics

[judy, spoken]
miss th+rn, the reason i’ve asked you here is that tina’s awfully upset about not playing pippi

[miss th+rn, spoken]
i must admit, in all my years as a professional actress, and i’ve worked on both coasts, i’ve never known anyone to want a part so desperately. it’s as if starring in the play means too much to tina

[judy, spoken]
that’s what worries me

[miss th+rn, sung]
there’s no need to worry
unknit your brow
although tina’s
experience tells me i’m happy to say
she’ll get over her disappointment…
someday

[miss th+rn, spoken]
she’ll learn being a star isn’t everything. there are many wonderful careers one can choose, that are at least rewarding and equally exciting
why, look at me…

[miss th+rn]
teaching third grade
shaping the minds of a new generation
no longer afraid
to get on with my life and off… medication
sure i went to new york
to be an overnight sensation
more than a face
i was a winning combination
of talent and grace
i wish i had mace
my purse got nabbed, my ass got grabbed
behind penn station

now i’m back lord
at the blackboard
teaching third grade

[judy, spoken]
don’t you think it’s a good idea for someone in show business to have something to fall back on?

[miss th+rn]
something to fall back on
my guiding rule of thumb
that’s how i became what i become
at night i get cozy
pour wine, light the tapers
i sit there, alone there
oh + i love grading papers!
the pay is terrific
my summers are free
so, who needs the limelight
when you can be me?
yeah, i had something to fall back on
safe and so secure
with very few surprises in store
i watch too much telly
i never get laid
god, i’m so bored
i hate teaching third grade!

[judy, spoken]
i wonder what’s keeping tina

[miss th+rn]
sick of jane and sick of d+cky
never quiet ++ always sticky

[judy, spoken]
would you look at the time?

[miss th+rn]
noses runny, noses bleedy
little runts so bl++dy needy

[judy, spoken]
can i get you anything?

[miss th+rn]
how ’bout a drink?
got any weed?
i can’t take it
god, i need
something to fall back on
from what i’ve fallen back on
[judy, spoken]
about tina…

[miss th+rn]
as far as the lead in the show, my dear
she’ll have to get over not starring this year
into each life, rain falls, i’m afraid
life is a b+tch
and it starts in third grade

- andrea mccullough kim maresca lyrics

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