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andre's mind - (ex)plosive lyrics

(verse 1)
it’s been a rough few months
take it a day at a time
i’m free from all the mental abuse you put me through in life
but i somehow still feel like this could have all been avoided
you hurt me and made me feel as if i was never important
you made me tell you what was going on in my mind
under the guise that your my friend and i decided it’s fine
but then i told you and you quickly left
saying that you couldn’t handle this
but i’m the one who’s suicidal how do you think i feel
wanted to slice up my wrists or pop pills and you worsened those feelings
how you treated me is disgusting
you as an individual disgusts mе
i don’t think of myself as ever abovе you
but you thought of me as if i was below you
had a new guy in only two weeks
told me he’s everything that you wished i could be
cause he’s white, he’s got tattoos and a truck
because he’s a country boy and now i feel like you never gave a f+ck
about me or my feelings or how i’ve been dealing
told you multiple times my mindstate ain’t right but all you ever did was push it aside
all you did was sit down and drink wine
complaining about how i never had the time

(verse 2)
doing everythign i can so i can give us a life
that’s free of stress so we could be living alright
but you went ahead and broke me down then threw me out
you say your a christian but i’m doubting that now
you’ve constantly sinned day to day
lie to those close to you and you say it’s ok
if people knew the real you then you’d be quick to resign
i know a lot of secrets behind the scenes that could end your career
however, i still have feelings and couldn’t bring myself to let them air
even though you couldn’t give a f+ck about me
threw me out of your life after saying i’m your best friend
and how you didn’t wanna lose me if we were to end it
but now i see through those lies
and every word you spoke is a lie
and maybe we could have possibly compromised
but knowing you. you won’t be able to stay with any guy
i know your past and all the guys that haunt it
got more bodies under your belt than most
more than your family will ever know
(verse 3)
made me feel like i’m living in h+ll so how could i have faith up above
god never seemed to be there for me when i wanted to give up
and if i had to choose between you, lucifer, and demons it wouldn’t matter
cause you embody them all
everytime i feel like we were doing alright
you were just setting me up for the fall
suicidal and depressed at 20
another lost soul is that what you were wanting
i could never trust you now
don’t wanna ever hear that your sorry
don’t wanna hear your voice
because it’s probably just more lies that you’ll use to break me down even more
you got that smile on your face
like everythings fine
and now you got me thinking about the words that you said
and then i reminisce about the times i wished i was dead
i’m always thinking alot when im up in my bed
all this stress is getting to my head
and your the cause of it
hurt me so bad it took a while for me to recover from it

but now i’m hear exposing you for all your cr+p
giving my side of the story that you seemed to forget
i’m a human too, i have feelings and emotions
and if people knew the way you treated me they would be beyond disgusted
now i’m stuck in this rutt
trying to find the words for my songs but my bodies gone numb
my heart is frozen
all of this is just a taste of whats going on in my thoughts
i used to wish you all the best
now i wish that you fall
you hurt me pretty bad
worse than you could ever imagine
and now i’m speaking up
but you’ll probably never hear this
the same one you knew has changed from all this damage
and maybe thats for the best
it’s time for a new me
i don’t feel like the same person that i used to be
my mindstate is changing and the ay i carry myself is better
got more on my mind than simple thoughts
and now i think i’ll be fine
maybe someday we can find a way to put this all behind
or maybe we will both just move on in due time
forget about each other and all the memories
even then i still will carry the pain you have sent to me

- andres mind lyrics

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