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android - the dark lyrics

[verse 1: android]
i was 14 when my mother kicked my father out
this is when i took my first peek at satan’s slaughterhouse
he told me, your mother ain’t letting me back
you the man of the house now, you gotta pick up the slack
i sighed a sigh of relief, this motherf-cker is gone
then i got hit with grief, it’s like i lost me a bond
i was still a freshman, still had a couple of friends
but those friendships broke, i thought i was getting closer to the end
the end of nothing, cuz really i never did sh-t
i started writing to beats, like who thought this kid could spit
i was just f-cking around, just jotting to be funny
cooped up in the house, not outside when it’s sunny
a call of duty geek, thought i could make some vids on youtube
but the sh-t that rules my life just caught up with me too soon
the sh-t i like to call father, a voice inside my head
these thoughts of constant judgment, i wanna crack em until i see red
a thousand eyes always on me, i wished em all dead
man i was living like a zombie, and then father said
“listen, these people ain’t like you
you had this anxiety sh-t, like since you were 2
you just didn’t realize, this is who you are
you see that noose hanging, man that’s not that far”
but f-ck that, i got way too much to live for
i wanna see my kids thirteenth, like millard fillmore
i wanna blow up, and show the world who i am
and forget about this red b-tch with two horns like a ram
but this sh-t never stopped, it only got worse
and now i never step outside, i think that i’m cursed
i can’t speak in front of people cuz i get red and get the shakes
going outside results in the worst stomach aches
but these words, i know they something special
cuz writing’s my only outlet from those thoughts that i wrestle
i live in the dark, i feel no comfort when i can see
a hollow man loves when he forgets what he will be
the light shows me truth, but in the ugliest form
i find that traveling down the coldest roads is when i feel most warm

- android lyrics

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