andy cownden - at least your not dead lyrics
well i’m not much one for drinking, and i’ll tell you rightly why
i drank myself unconscious on the last first of july
imagine my surprise when i woke up in the morgue in a small refrigerator two by six
and my humiliation
when i came to realization;
this was one of cousin hoover’s dirty tricks
hung over and depressed i finally came to a decision
about my current state of shock
i’d consult my new mortician. (wait for it.)
at least you’re not dead
that’s what my coroner said
keep your feet on the ground
and your heart safe and sound
with your neck firmly glued to your head
at least you’re not croaked
and had your life licensе revoked. (that’s a stretch i know.)
tеach your cousin hoover the heimlich maneuver
and make sure you don’t end up choked
i knew a hypochondriac named beth
who found she was a trifle short of breath
she thought that she was sick
so she hurried double quick
to the doctor with a classic case of death
said the doctor, “you’re asthmatic
and that’s nothing short of tragic
but it’s hardly rigamortis
and the problem of the sort is
nothing but a crimson herring
to the issue that is bearing
down upon your disillusioned little mind
there’s more to life than sickness you’ll find
would you rather be a cadaver in a custom tailored box
then be breathing and believing you’re as healthy as an ox?”
well
at least you’re not dead
that’s what my coroner said
keep your feet on the ground
and your health safe and sound
with your neck firmly glued to your head
at least you’ve not kicked the bucket
and told the whole world to fff… screw it
cause to take your own life in a moment of strife
is too painful so trust me don’t do it
at least you’re not six feet under
with your cranium cracked asunder
it’s much better to be an intact entity
with the rest of your life left to wonder
why me?
i saw that life was not so bad and really could be nice
i undertook my undertaker’s good advice
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